Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

I wrote this blog title a few days ago.  No content just the title.  Then I found out today our small/mid size company is being aquired by a big company. My work life has been rather stressful lately and now things are starting to make sense why they are. I'm not sure what's really going to happen over the next few months or year.  So many uncertainties. For every company I've ever worked for I always feel like just a cog in the wheel. Minor... But necessary. I've never played a major role in any of the  companies I've worked for and I have never been part of any major decisions.. just a simple little cog. Now as we all brace ourselves for a big change, with many uncertainties. I certainly don't fear change as I'm all about growing and developing.  If I'm honest this confirms a lot of things that I needed at this time in my life. When I really reflect on this I believe realize, we are all cog's in God's kingdom. ...

Just  listen to the song Titanium (feat. Sia) by David Guetta. It's a great techno song (next time you hear it try to listen just to the music.) Yet it does have some fun lyrics. The line that sticks with me: "I'm bulletproof nothing to lose Fire away, fire away.." Even though he's fictional, It makes me think of Superman.. being actually bulletproof.  I think of classic Superman comic of people shooting at him.  It makes Superman strong by just standing there taking everything that comes at him. We may not shoot people with actual bullets but we do with our words and our hatred. I am reminded that there is so many people out there who are really trying to be bulletproof and not let these things hurt them so much.  However, I am pretty sure no one really can deflect everything thrown their way.      Wouldn't it be great if we could be completely like Superman all the time.  Standing firm - Bulletproof!

Last night I had another one of those "woe is me" conversation with my husband.  I know he just loves when I throw myself a pity-party. They always stem from major stress or frustration.  Something going on in my life that I just can't control. I know that my goal is to give all of that to God.  He's good.  He's faithful.  But I can't seem to shake something's off.  Last night's conversation was around my favorite topic.. My job. My husband tells me I focus too much on titles and money.  Hard not to do when you're in accounting.   He told me that what I make financially is how I measure success. There is some truth to that, I'll admit.  But as I read some different articles this morning, I realized that it's not about my title or how much money I make.. It's all about mattering.  Woman (Maybe it's just me) are wired to want to mean something, have an influence, add value.. to matter. What seems to be m...

It's been an unusual rainy summer this year. I've never minded the rain.  I usually like a good summer thunderstorms every now and again.  I was recently thinking about how our spiritual lives can really mimic the weather.  Sometimes we shine so bright much like a warm spring or summer day. We live out our faith with bold colors and a cheerful simile. Sometimes we just want to stay bundled up trying to warm like a chilly winter day. Sometimes we go through blizzards, tornados or even hurricanes.  Everything is off, we can't seem to get out of a trial or tribulation. And then there's just all the rainy days.  We know that the rain is critical in the plant cycle but at times we're tired of being wet and soggy. God uses weather analogies throughout scripture, as he is the creator of it all.  Noah, Moses, Jonah etc... all had difficulties with weather.  He uses water just as often.   Jesus was able to walk on water a...

Yep next month I turn 39 and I have been reflecting a lot about my life, my accomplishments and the things I haven't done yet.   Since I am a type A person.. everything has to have a purpose or goal.  So before I turn the big 4-0.. there are quite a few things I want to do.   What better way to celebrate such a milestone than to make a bucket list of sorts...  I will post the official list on my 39th birthday so stay tuned.  If you have suggestions put them in the comments.   

A dear friend of ours shared something deeply personal with us this weekend. He told us how he has been praying for our family, specifically that Tim would go to seminary and begin preparing for world missions again. He became emotional as he shared how much my mission testimony had impacted him. He said he had been praying that God would show him ways to support us as we seek to go wherever He calls. This brings up so many mixed emotions for me. About seven years ago, we were on that path. We were ready and willing to go, but God closed that door faster than we had opened it. Looking back, we knew we weren't ready. Now, seven years later, I honestly don't know that I want to open that door again. But what I keep asking myself is: why? My list of reasons for wanting to stay right where I am is pretty long: Our lives are here. Friends, church, family, school, work. I have a great job that I love. It provides well for our family, and I work with some amazing people. God is alread...

Every now and then I have to pause and really remind myself that the whispers of the world are wrong! It's those times when I start to get a little depressed for no reason, when I start to compare my life to the life of others, when I wonder why I am wasting my talents and missing out on the things I really enjoy. This world is constantly whispering in my ear... … what are you trying to prove?   … you can’t, and you won’t be anything special. It’s true that even in our best efforts we will never be perfect.   We can study, practice or devote more time to becoming better at something or even special in some unique way but we’ll never truly succeed.   Our shallow motives drive our attention and we always become consumed with idea that we need to prove our worth our value or simply the fact that we mean something.   I often find myself believing the lies that no matter what I do I will never be smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough.  But the true is ...