What's a matter with you?

Last night I had another one of those "woe is me" conversation with my husband. I know he just loves when I throw myself a pity-party.

They always stem from major stress or frustration. Something going on in my life that I just can't control.

I know that my goal is to give all of that to God. He's good. He's faithful.

But I can't seem to shake something's off. Last night's conversation was around my favorite topic.. My job.

My husband tells me I focus too much on titles and money. Hard not to do when you're in accounting. He told me that what I make financially is how I measure success.

There is some truth to that, I'll admit.

But as I read some different articles this morning, I realized that it's not about my title or how much money I make.. It's all about mattering.

Woman (Maybe it's just me) are wired to want to mean something, have an influence, add value.. to matter.

What seems to be my biggest and current struggle is I don't feel like I make a difference or I'm not really living out my purpose. One could say that's a spirit from God.. while others could say that's the devil on my back.

It's a struggle to balance it. Am I meant for greater things or am I just supposed to live a quiet humble life... Simple living and loving.

I don't have grand desire to rule the world or even travel it.. but I do have something telling me: I need to do more than what I'm currently doing.

I just have to wait and see what that involves.

I know that we're all called to live for the Lord and that's really all that matters...

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