Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

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Don't You Want to Hear Something Different?

I think our society is full of people who say things like, "I'm such a hot mess," or "I look terrible today," only hoping the person they're talking to will immediately respond, "No, you're amazing! You have it all together!" But what happens when someone agrees? What if they say, "Yeah, you are kind of a mess right now," or, "You could probably do a few things to improve your appearance"? Ouch. Even when there's some truth in what they're saying, it can be crushing to hear. We may have been the ones who started the criticism, but that doesn't mean we actually wanted anyone to agree with it. I know I'm guilty of this. I'm very good at negative self-talk. I can point out all my flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings without needing any help from anyone else. But if someone agrees with those criticisms, it still hurts. The truth is, most of us are much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. We don...

Accounting Needs More Builders, Not Just Bookkeepers

With students heading back to school and many beginning their accounting journeys, I've been reflecting on what makes this profession so rewarding. Most finance and accounting positions focus on the data and reporting. Close the books. Prepare the budget. Manage cash. Ensure compliance. All important. But every once in a while, you come across a position that asks something completely different: Do you care about outcomes, not just reports? Do you challenge the numbers instead of simply reporting them? Do you like a scoreboard, and does it drive you to be more strategic and growth-focused? As someone who has spent much of my career in accounting and finance, those questions really hit me. I've always believed the best accountants aren't just historians documenting what happened last month. They're partners helping shape what happens next. They aren't satisfied with simply explaining variances. They want to understand why they exist. More importantly, they're wi...

Going from Striving for Excellence to Showing Up and Doing Enough

I have been experiencing a lot of this in my life recently. Being a Type A person, I have always strived for excellence. I read books on how to improve my mind, body, and soul. I have a million Pinterest ideas on how to maximize my time, money, and energy. I have always measured myself against the standard benchmarks of life, and I believed that striving for excellence was the ultimate goal. I don't know why, but recently everything in my life seems to be telling me, "Forget that." My newer employer doesn't care about maximizing talents or truly increasing KPIs to reach our prime potential. They care more about people feeling good than doing good. It's been a hard adjustment, to say the least. I see it showing up in my own goals, too. Maybe it's me getting older. Maybe I'm slowing down. Or maybe it's the reality of showing up every day to a company that doesn't promote that relentless pursuit of excellence. Whatever the reason, I don't seem to ...

Three Times This Week, I Looked Up

I read so many things that say worrying is one of the worst things you can do, right along with being afraid. It's taken me a long time to realize that I can, in fact, change my mind. I can choose to stop worrying about things. Most of the time, that comes with the help of God, but I've also found that I'm simply less afraid than I used to be. For more than 20 years, we've worried about our kids. Truth be told, I've worried about all of them at least three times this week. I'm proud to say that's much less than it used to be, but it's still more than I should be doing. I know I'm not perfect and I'm far from who I am truly called to be, but I think this season is teaching me far more than I expected. I'm learning that it's okay to be bored. I'm learning to appreciate the little things rather than constantly chasing the big things. I'm learning that slowing down isn't weakness. Most of all, I think I'm learning to worry les...

I See You, Ricky

I see him very often at the corner on my way to work. He reminds me of my dad in a lot of ways. The way he walks. His stance. Sure, my dad isn't a Black man with an eye patch, but he gives me the same vibes. I don't really know his story, but I see him often, and I pray for him every time I do. He always waves and carries the same sign. I don't typically give people things when I see them holding signs that say, "Please help..." Most of the time, I think the same thing many people think. They're just going to use the money to buy drugs or alcohol, or they're begging because they're too lazy to get a job. I even once saw a man begging on a corner walk over to his very nice car after collecting a few bucks. So naturally, I'm skeptical of everyone. But this man is different. Today, I had some cash, and I could afford to give him some. I've seen him for almost a whole year, and I hardly ever have real cash on hand. Today, I saw him start walking up...

More Than Words: Learning to Listen

I often say the wrong thing. I have gotten better over the years, but I have always been quick to speak and slow to listen. I recognize my selfishness and stubbornness. I recognize the moments when I want my words to wound instead of heal. I recognize when I want to elevate myself above someone else, proving that I know more or that I am somehow better. Lately, I have been learning what it really means to be "less than" myself and "more than" my ego. That is harder than I would like to admit. As the youngest in my family, I was always the one behind everyone else. Everyone got to experience things first, and whether intentionally or not, I often felt like I wasn't enough. Being told you're not enough can create a lifelong desire to prove that you are. Sometimes that proving comes through achievements. Sometimes it comes through your voice. I think that's why I have spent so much of my life wanting to be heard. Wanting to have the right answer. Wanting to...