Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

Birthdays always inspire me to do something: reflect on where I am, who I am, and who I'm becoming. What I've discovered as I've gotten older is that I'm becoming much more comfortable with my imperfections. We live in a world that constantly tells us to be "perfect." It's everywhere. Social media, advertisements, television, and even our phones are quietly telling us who we should be. The funny thing is, I've lived long enough to know that perfection doesn't exist. More importantly, I've learned that the world wants us to constantly question who we are and whether we're enough. Heck, even our phones automatically remove our flaws and make us look far more spectacular than we really do. Face Beauty Auto Real Life Me So today, I'm turning off the filter and sharing a few of my imperfections. 1. I have absolutely no musical talent. Whatsoever. When I sing along to the radio, which I do often and thoroughly enjoy, I'm usually out of tu...

So it happened.  My daughter graduated high school and went off to college - six states away.  Not just a college but a Military college.  (and in a pandemic...)  I thought I would cry, but I didn't.   It was as good as it could be. She looked nervous and unsure about the next chapter.  She knows that it will be more difficult and probably the hardest thing she has yet to have done.  She grew up quite comfortable and knows those comforts are gone for now.   It is all natural and part of letting them grow up.  I am happy for her next chapter and yet a little sad that I won't get to be an active part of it.   It makes me question all the years of parenting.. did I equip her enough to handle all the things life will throw at her... because I know life comes at you hard some times.  I know deep down things will be good, but will she have the strength to really preserve when things get tough?  I pray she does and I trust God's hand ...

Sometimes the things we want are really hard and we quit to easily.   Sometimes we don't quit and we find success. Sometimes when life throw us curve balls - we swing and strike out.  Sometimes we swing and knock it out of the park.  Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroad and take the wrong path in the wrong directions.  Sometimes we stop and ask for directions and take the right path.  Sometimes we get lost.  Sometimes we get found.  Sometimes we just want to hide.  Sometimes we just want to seek.  Sometimes we love.  Sometimes we hate.  Sometimes we dance.  Sometimes we cry.  Sometimes we're amazed at the beauty, Sometimes we are sad by the ugliness.  Sometimes we live fully.  Sometimes we don't live much at all Sometimes - is only just sometimes.  

My mother in law makes the most beautiful jewelry. I imagine it takes hours and hours, to pick all the colors, sort the beads, then string them all together with all the different styles and arrangements. And although I'm not a huge jewelry person, I find her work of art to be beautiful and a testimony towards patience. I have always known I lack patience.  At to an early age I recognized my lack of patience. I am the last born in my family and always wanted to go first but always ended up going last.  I hate waiting in long lines. And I sometimes spontaneously rush to get the things I want even though I was told to wait.  I struggle with the verse.. I waited patiently for the Lord.  But I often find myself in that situation.  Learning to be patient isn't something that I enjoy but I'm slowly learning that you can find happiness and even contentment while in a time of waiting.  So, when I find myself being inpatient, I pull out my jewelery ...

I'm 40 now, I really should have my s*** together ... but here I am days before the new year planning out how to get my s*** together ... again. This year will bring many new things. My first born will graduate high school and move off into the world.  I often ask myself, did I prepare her enough?  Did I screw up along the way? Then there's my 13 year old son... Is he becoming a godly man? Does he have what it takes to endure adolescence and puberty?   then I think of all the other things that are even more important than being a mother ... My marriage, my body, my mind, and my soul.  Have I been properly feeding those things? I like New year's. I like New year's resolutions.  I like having goals.  And I like challenging myself.  And yet I still think I have a long way before I truly have my s*** together.