Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

The other day we were driving, and the song "I'm Just a Girl" came on the radio. My husband told my daughter that it could be her theme song in life. She replied, "No, this is Mom's song." And while I've seen No Doubt/Gwen Stefani multiple times in concert, I'm not sure this song really applies to me anymore.   I will admit that being a girl has its difficulties, but I've found that the older I get, the more comfortable I am with who I am. So as I raise a girl in this world, these are the words of wisdom I tell her over and over again. Have faith and trust in God. Many things in this world don't make sense. Like how we got to Clinton and Trump as presidential candidates. But if you remain faithful, you'll know that even in the chaos, God has it under control. You don't have to figure it all out. You just need to know that He does, and He has a plan. Like and love yourself for who you are. Too often we don't like who we are. ...

Sure I just ran another half marathon three days ago, but I am not fit.  I have been meditating on what it means to be fit and I am just not there ... yet.  As we ran in Virginia Beach my fourteen year daughter pushed and motivated me the whole way.  My legs were tired, my knee and back both started hurting.  I just didn’t feel “it” anymore after we past mile eight.  But the entire way she said “come on mom.  We’re doing it. You can do it” And we did.   I had a personal best and I owe much of that to my daughter.   I said it was perhaps time,  her and I no longer run together because I was holding her back, but she said “You just need to train more, mom.” That comment really stuck to me and it got me thinking about how unfit I truly am.  I didn’t train enough for this race sure but more importantly I have been wondering around really unfit with God.  It’s hard being in a transition place and feeling spiritually unf...

We can’t coexist when everyone throws around the word “hate and bigot” all the time.  We can’t live in a world where everyone is equal when we all believe equality is different.   I am just a simple Christian mom trying to love my husband and raise my two pretty terrific kids.  My kids are living such a different life from what my husband and I did.  They live in a different kind of generation where they are connected to the world instantly.  They go to a public school and get to be exposed to the world in sometimes a scary way… but it’s true that Jesus walked the real world  and those are models we live by.  I get really said or maybe just disappointed when my agonist and atheist friends, which I have, want to slander my religion because it believes what it does.  I truly grieve when people think I “hate” or want there to be discrimination towards …  Muslims, homosexuals, transgender, blacks, whites, men, women, unborn, handicap, v...

Having a teenage daughter = the beginning of many let downs and disappointments.  As a young women and mother it's certainly hard to try and pick up your children after being let down and not getting something they really wanted.   The most recent one for our family was yesterday.  My daughter doesn't have the one special talent that she shines at.  She does a lot of thing good but nothing on the level of brilliant.  She isn't perfect and she is way more competitive than I would like her to be.    She makes use a lot of really great talents she has.   She's artistic on many different levels including visual arts, drama and music, she's sporty and the only 13 year old I know to run a half marathon, she's smart  even though she struggles with reading, and most important she has a kind gentle  beautiful heart.   What happens too often in our young girls is they see at an early age... things that hinder them most of their lives....

I few months ago, I wrote an email to our church office manager saying "I just don't love our church right now..."  It wasn't the first time I went on the record saying I just didn't love my church.   He responded with a warm-well wish but it made me think really about my relationship with my church and THEE church.  It made me think of a song by the Band Delta Rae's (love them)  "If I Loved You.."   The song is talking about a relationship.   Elizabeth Hopkins sings about how life would be easy if she loved him .  She points out all the things she would do, if she loved him.  Marry him, have children, make love,etc.   She goes on in the  chorus  singing... " But I  don't love you, not like I want to I don't love you and that makes it hard" I feel like that with the church sometimes. I have always believed that our church isn't just a building or a place to worship.  It's meant to be a real relationshi...

I have been witness to  a lot of  those Justa’s lately.  The Justa’s are the  sort of self-pity moments we often put ourselves into.  It’s when we don’t feel like we measure up, because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to others... I have a friend who is “justa  Administrative Assistance.”  My son says he can’t do something because he’s “justa kid.” She’s “justa Stay Home Mom.” Or “justa single mom.”   He’s “justa poor student trying to earn a higher education at a community college” I am "justa ordinary plain girl that has been told all my life I won't amount to much." I’m “justa hopeless mess that never seems to have any luck.” The list goes on...  We put ourselves and sadly we put others in those "Justa Boxes."  Our sad society also puts us in those boxes and we're reminded of this justa bout every time we turn on the television.  Every time we flip a magazine and see the green grass.  I was t...

It's January, and just over a month ago we lost our last grandfather.  Now a month later my family (excluding my husband's grandmother) is getting ready to lose our last living grandparent.  She will soon be with my grandfather and her husband of 68 years.  When home for my grandfather's funeral I remember being in the house that they have lived in most of their life together and thinking to myself... "It seemed much bigger when I was a child."   If I am honest with myself and honest with you, I will admit that my grandmother didn't rather much like us (excluding my oldest sister and father.)  She played the favorites game and I remember her yelling at me more than hugging me.  I also remember going to school with my cousin who's birthday was a couple months after mine and he would show me all the cool things my grandmother gave him.  In which I received nothing for my birthday just months earlier.  I sometimes blame my grandmothers attitude and...