Skip to main content

Don't You Want to Hear Something Different?

I think our society is full of people who say things like, "I'm such a hot mess," or "I look terrible today," only hoping the person they're talking to will immediately respond, "No, you're amazing! You have it all together!"

But what happens when someone agrees?

What if they say, "Yeah, you are kind of a mess right now," or, "You could probably do a few things to improve your appearance"?

Ouch.

Even when there's some truth in what they're saying, it can be crushing to hear. We may have been the ones who started the criticism, but that doesn't mean we actually wanted anyone to agree with it.

I know I'm guilty of this. I'm very good at negative self-talk. I can point out all my flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings without needing any help from anyone else. But if someone agrees with those criticisms, it still hurts.

The truth is, most of us are much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. We don't need more people confirming our fears and insecurities. We need encouragement. We need people who remind us of our strengths when we can't see them ourselves.

And maybe, every once in a while, we need someone to tell us we're doing better than we think we are.

Right?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are You Growing Your People Like a Gardener?

Lately at work, I've been feeling like that dead office plant. You know the one sitting in the corner, all wilted, dried up, and barely hanging on. It's surprisingly easy to feel malnourished and deflated. For a plant, it's a lack of water and sunshine. For people, it's often a lack of encouragement, support, and motivation. I love buying plants. I love when they're full, green, and thriving. The problem is, I'm not always great at keeping them that way. Recently, I came across a checklist for growing healthy plants: Know your plants. Make sure the containers or pots are big enough. Provide the right amount of sunshine. Water them only as often as needed. Fertilize them. Check on them regularly. Keep pests away. As I was reading the list, I realized how much of it applies to being a manager. Know your employees. Make sure they're in positions where they can grow and flourish. Encourage and motivate them. Provide constructive feedback. Pay them fairly. Che...

What are you afraid of?

It's Friday the 13th a day in which urban legends come out and people become a little bit superstitious or a little more frightful.    I remember in the late 90s - early 2000s playing Friday the 13th on the Sega Genesis....  All was fine in the day light as you walked around the campground and sometimes you had to get in the boat to go across the lake to the other side.  Life was good... The children were safe.  Then it started to get dark... your Children numbers started dropping, and you had to go find what was taking the children and you knew what was taking them.  You now had to search each of the cabins and in the darkeness even though you expected it at every turn Boom there was JASON and you just said holy S#@T  and screamed a bit in terror.   You took your little rock and threw it at Jason and did your best to dodge the knife as he slashed at you.   Sometimes you defeated him, Sometimes he killed you.  Someti...

On a mission

13 years ago... My husband and I were in the process of becoming overseas missionaries.  We were pretty far along in the process, approved by our mission agency, blessed by our elders, and waiting the call from missionaries in Latin America. We knew we had many things to overcome to make it a reality but we were willing and able.  We never thought God was going to shut the door as far as he opened it. Spring of 2006 - was the worst season of our lives.  When we heard the word "cancer" we crumbled.  We didn't know what to expect but we also found out we were "expecting." Between having a baby, termites, job loss and cancer - we closed the door in great great sadness. God used us in some pretty amazing ways but there has also been a small void in my life wondering what it would been like to serve him in the field.  Almost every day of my life, I keep asking God ... "What am I supposed to be doing?" Why does it feel like I'm fail...