Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

I became a mom, around the time most of my friends were graduating college and living it up as young singles do. I never visioned getting married at 20 or starting a young family shortly after.  I certainly didn't have anything figured out but quickly learned what was most important. Being a mom has taught me...    -To laugh and be silly.  It's important to maintain a sense of humor.  Play dress up. Watch Cartoons. Dance crazy. Make mud pies.. and so forth.  Time is so short and before you know it.. you have a high school-er and almost middle school-er.    - To Embrace the mess.  The uncleaned house.  The dirty dishes.  The crazy wild bed head hair and the (endless) mounts of laundry just sitting in the corner.  No Mom has it figured out and you can't let life spills and mishaps bring you down.   - To stop comparing yourself.  For both mom's and children.  The grass isn't greener.  Ever...

Forgiveness is something we all struggles​ with.  Self include​d.  I have the ability to recognize when someone should seek forgiveness but often don't have the ability to actually do it. When I was 11 years old my uncle was murdered by a young 18 year old kid... because he was either jealous or simply didn't like my uncle.  The kid ended up getting aquitted of the charges since he had a good attorney. That kids life was never the same and truth be told he ended up taking his own life only a few years later.   My family felt that Justice was served when that young man died. But I'll never really know if my grandparents found forgiveness. As humans we hold on to so much: Pain. Struggle.  Addiction.  Hurt.  Sadness.  We don't forgive others because it's our way off remembering this bad things.  Unfortunately we believe that makes us stronger on the inside. As we get ready to celebrate Easter.  I'm reminded so much ab...

Spoiler alert... It's Jesus.  I have joked around this comic stripe for years... God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  Right now I am so far behind I will NEVER die.  ~ Calvin I continue to struggle with ... "My Purpose."  What are all those things God wants me to accomplish.  How am I doing?  Am I behind schedule?  Am I following the right path?  Doing the right things?  I tease and joke that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up ... because I am often uncertain what is my God given purpose... Last night, I was reminded that our God given purpose is Jesus.  We are all called to follow his lead and love like him.  I often realize that when I am too busy complaining about the world around me, I am missing out the things he wants me to accomplish right now.   Which is to shine his light and live a life that those who don't know him will want to know him because they know me....

Have you ever met someone that seems to be always - HAPPY?  Those people who always see the good.  Always smiling and always full of life.     Happy people are anomaly these days.  I was running around the park yesterday and not many people smiled or appeared to be happy.  People just looking at there phones, walking their dogs, running or listening to their music.  I guess I wasn't really all that surprised at most of the individuals I past, just trying to enjoy the beautify day or get through life.  But two people stood out to me during that run.   The first was A young women.  She was my age or a even a bit younger and she was pushing a child in a handicap stroller.  The boy had to be around 4 years old. He had a hat and sunglasses on, no expression on his face, and was clearly paralyzed.  I passed her multiple times each time she had a worn out frown as she pushed the bulky stroller.  The first time I saw her I p...

So I have been given a new opportunity and a new chapter in my book of life.   I am super excited about all the things I know God is teaching me and the ways he's rewarding me... but now I have to break up with my old job.  After a decade of service ... It's been nothing short of a roller coaster of emotions over the past couple weeks.  They say that quitting your job can be as heartbreaking as ending a romance and is that ever true.   I have fallen trapped into all the DON'TS.  Don't hold a grudge... Don't annoy your co-workers... Don't act like a short-timer...  My bad attitude over the past week and a half is not who I am and how I want to leave.   I have so many great memories and I find it strange that I am only remembering the bad ones.   I kept saying I was just following the steps of grieving and I kind of got stuck in Anger.  I am typically not an angry person.  Or I always seem to be able to move on and let things go. ...

Over the few past weeks (maybe even a few months) my live has seen a variety of changes that will be soon taking place. After 13 years ... we recently left our church and last month have started settling into a new one. After 10+ years of employment ...  I just have accepted a new job with a new company. I have purged well over 2000 things in my home over the past two months in efforts to become less involved with things and more involved with life experiences. I started blogging more and being more creative.  Painting and playing and reading and learning. I have found myself cutting out the things in my life that don't really hold value and reducing my overall stress levels. I have unplugged from many social media sites and plugged into prayer and reading more.  I started writing letters to old  friends and recently rekindled writing in a journal. I feel God leading me in new ways ... teaching me new things and changing my old heart all over again. ...

I am relearning some old life lessons since putting in my resignation at work.  Sadly, I have seen this with both friends from our formal church ... and once again with soon to be ex-work colleagues.    I find it amazing how people can write "I am so happy for you" and "Oh you will be so missed" and then completely write you off as a person... almost as if you didn't even exist or your years of service and dedication meant nothing.  Your friendship meant nothing. Life can be cruel and I am reminded how broken we are as humans. I am constantly meditation on the fact that as a Christian I know that I am to be persecuted.   I imagine Christ felt abandoned from his friends and colleagues in the end... He already knew what Peter and Judas's true colors looked like. He knew and he washed their feet anyway. This week, I am struggling with this. I want to rise above my hurt feelings and show up like Christ. Because the end of Christ was th...