Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

I don't have a crowd of followers or a fan fair.  Probably most of my friends don't read my blog or like many of my Facebook posts.   I am not popular or famous in any way, shape or form.  I don't experience moments when I walk in the room and it is instantly lighten up.   People stop, turn, look, smile and a scene of joy enters.  Those moments never happen to me.  I am not anything special in any way, shape or form. I don't do anything that is big and grand.  Anyone could do my job or live my life.  Nothing I do is extraordinary in any way, shape or form. We remind ourselves that nothing is really special about us.  Plain Jane.  I especially tell myself how unexceptional I am but why is any of this important? It's not because I have low self-esteem or lack some passion that burns in me.  I don't hate my life in the shadows.  I don't long to be recognized by those around me.  I don't seek fame, fortu...

Oh so often, I start to count all the things that go "wrong."  These range from I don't really like the hair cut or color, or the boy didn't place well at the pinewood derby as I thought he should,  or I am so tired today because I stayed up too late playing minecraft, or why don't my family members call me more often, or I am not getting a bigger tax refund than we normally do.  These are real life complaints I have actually said to myself in my head. Too often,  I start comparing myself to all those around me. Such as my house isn't as nice as theirs, or my kids aren't perfect in some shape or way,  or even I wish I looked as nice and put together as she does. Why do we do that? Why can't we really look at the important things in life? Why can't we instead count our blessings. I often forget how  blessed  I really am. I live in a country that allows me many freedoms! I have a God that loves me in-spite of my many fla...

There are days, many days to be honest, when I just don't have my 'head in the game.'  I find myself constantly distracted by the things around me, like the drama or enthrallments of some people’s lives.  Or even the materialistic things that hold my attention, but ultimately distract me from the more important things.   Too often my head just isn’t in the game.  I show up but I have neither the heart nor passion to really play.  This happens at home, at work, at kids events, at church, and social events.   I recently read Hebrews 12.  To writer sums up the chapter by remaindering of God’s ‘life race’ in which we are all called to run and how since God loves us so he disciplines us in order that we might become more like him.  I can certainly relate much to a race, as I have been in many in my life.  But it this verse reminded me of my marathon which I ran several years back.  It was by far the hardest race I have ran to d...

I just received an email this morning for our college professional development workshops.   Among the list of course offered some include:   Unlawful Harassment Prevention for Higher Education Staff Preventing Discrimination and Sexual Violence: Title IX and the SaVE Act for Faculty and Staff and most terrifying ... Active Shooter Response for Higher Education It's not uncommon to have classes such as these, but   I have been thinking much about the innocence lost and how the world is so very dark, cold and dangerous.   We have to prepare ourselves for just about anything and the sad reality is at times our world is extremely dreadful.   A few weeks ago, my daughter watched a show with my husband and I, which ended on a very twisted and dark resolution.  It wasn't the happy-go lucky ending we had thought it would be.  It left you feeling  melancholy and somewhat icky.   It was a moment that I thought to m...

Let me be honest. After my daughter was born, I stated multiple times, that I would not have another child.  I wanted to have an only child.  One sweet little girl was all I needed.   She was and still is a great daughter and has a beauty to her that words can’t describe.  But this isn’t about her... It was few months the year 2006 when I found out we were expecting another child.  I knew before I took the test, that I was with child.   Was it a mother’s intuition? That summer was the most difficult summer of our lives with many trials and tribulations, but here we were with a four year old and another on the way.  We found out in August that our baby was a boy (even though Alita really wanted a sister) but prior I knew that it was a boy.  Another mother’s intuition, perhaps? So in August the boy became Gideon Lee ... he was due Nov 30 that year.  And just like his sister he decided to hang out an extra few days....

I have been on Facebook since 2006.  It’s been an extremely useful tool for me to reconnect with so many wonderful people who have been in or are currently my life – long friends from primary, middle and high school, distant relatives living across the US and around the world, current friends and peers from church, work, school and the neighborhood.  How did we connect with all these wonderful people when we didn’t have Facebook? Being and extrovert – most people often know how I am ‘doing’ with just the expression on my face.   My co-workers know when I don’t agree with something or hold a difference of opinion.   I seem like a pretty open book to most people.   It’s true, I was the kid that danced on the kitchen table just to get a few laughs or threw the board game when I wasn’t winning.  And if you do that long enough – no one really takes you that serious and not many people ever stop to actually read your pages of your life....

I don’t really expect anyone to ever truly read my blog.   I don’t really publish many postings out there to sites where people would come to visit me here.   I am not famous or even highly interesting most days of my life.   I am not wise or smart.   My English and grammar are to be desired.   I know that I believe way too much in Capitalization, Commas and - Hyphens.   Honestly I don’t have anything really interesting to say most days.  I am just a girl struggling as much as the next person trying to figure out this crazy thing we call - life.  Every now and then, I have a thought that I just can’t keep hidden inside anymore.  We all got something to say every now and again, right?  So every now and again, I blog. I won’t lie, I have many unpublished postings.   I may have thought one day a posting would bring new meaning to my simple decent life, but they have become just another unfi...