Random Thoughts of a Supersmock

I'm constantly reminded how good God has been to me and my family. Not long after our daughter was born we really struggled financially.  We always lived within our means and didn't go out and buy things we didn't really need.  We didn't go on fancy vacations or drive expensive cars. We didn't live in a giant house. My husband worked as a contractor at IBM and each year for three years they gave him a pay cut. We were told to just be grateful he still had a job and did what we could. I was pretty financially savvy so I bought things from yard sales and thift stores.  I used coupons and bought items on sale.  Sometimes I would gather up anything that we could sale at a yard sale just to have money for groceries that month.  We never asked anyone for help because no one really had the means to help us and we made due. When we didn't have any savings or any extra money in the budget, I was struck with the notion we needed to give money to the...

It shouldn't amaze me that raising a teenage daughter is difficult... Most days it isn't and sometimes it's harder than giving birth to them. My daughter has moments where she panics and allows anxiety to vester. She's terribly afraid that she's missing out on opportunities or is lacking in certain experiences. She's plaqued with this fear that her whole life is determined by the here and now.  I can't fault her as I'm wired the same exact way at times. In hindsight, I am able to see how my life had been broken out in chapters.  I know I haven't done a great job in some of those chapters. Some chapters were very short.  Some very long and boring.  I'm enjoying my current one, but know even it will end at some point. I would love for my daughter to see that her life can be a great adventure even just one chapter at a time.  The whole story isn't yet written...

Too often I tell myself that I JUST need to do XYZ and everything will be great. If I run that marathon or climb that mountain or get that promotion… My mind says “Just do it.”   But as I get older I see that no matter what I do in my best efforts it’s never going to be  enough. No mater how many things I accomplish that only thing that matters is ... JUST JESUS. I am not able to do anything good it apart from him.  I must live just like Jesus:  Loving others, forgiving sins and healing this broken world. Reflecting on my life.. I am not living Just for Jesus.  I am not loving others, forgiving or doing much to heal those around me.  I need to constantly remind myself that I need to be closer to JUST JESUS. He will continue to love me, forgive me and heal me… He continues to remind me that he’s all we need.  Just Jesus!

A friend recently asked me if I regretted leaving my former employment for my current... Having seen some of the major changes and disappointments. In addition the recent acquisition that doesn't leave me with the confidence that my job responsibilities will get any better or even guaranteed a job in a year. I honestly don't hate my job but it's so easy to be discouraged and left wondering... What did I do?  I've never been one to have regrets and even with leaving a great job working with great people. I honestly said I didn't have any regrets. I truly believe in God's work and his plans on my life.  I've learned a lot about what it means to trust him over the years and this is no different. Over the past year, I've learned a lot about business and leadership and how people handle all sorts of ups and downs.  I've also meet some really awesome people that have humbly reminded me how amazing our God is.  Even in the midst of ...

I have been in a funk for sometime now.. the Devil keeps telling me that I am not enough, I am not important, I will never measure up, and that I am nobody.    I constantly struggled with feeling that I am suppose to be here for something … something bigger.  While on a run last week the song Nobody by Casting Crowns came on. (I love how God speaks to me through music… especially while running.) In the song Nobody the Chorus sings: ‘Cause I’m just a nobody Trying to tell everybody All about Somebody Who saved my soul … I’m living for the world to See Nobody but Jesus I love that I am often humbly reminded it’s not about me… so I just need to tell the devil I’m nobody… but JESUS!

My company has an intranet where employees can post announcements, photos, and occasional blog entries. Last week, a colleague shared a post about Milton Hershey and the legacy of love and generosity he left behind. It was a wonderful tribute to how Hershey used his wealth to serve others and how his life continues to impact people long after his death. The post moved me to leave a comment: "The great thing about a legacy is that we never quite know what it will look like. And ultimately, the only legacy worth having is one that points back to Christ." It's easy to become discouraged when you're not a wealthy business owner or someone with the financial means to support large charities and organizations. We often measure legacy by influence, titles, accomplishments, or the size of a bank account. Yet even during my relatively short time here, I've witnessed powerful legacies in action. I've seen people quietly invest in others, encourage coworkers, extend kind...

As an occasional painter, I've been known to take an old painting and paint over it. There's a product called white gesso and it's purpose is to prime a canvas for oil painting and pre-prime and old paintings to be used again. It hides all the color that is under it but it doesnt hide the texture or previous strokes. Often times in life we have to somewhat start all over again.  Perhaps it's restarting after a bad relationship, or a medical procedure that had left you different than before, or a job or career that hasn't really fulfilled you.  Most of the time we find ourselves wanting to cover up a major mistake. Sometimes we wish life had a gesso option.  Something that could cover up everything that was there before.  A new start... As for me, I know it's my sinful heart that longs for the whiteness and freshness of a new clean canvas.  One thing that often gives me great comfort is... Jesus is my gesso.  He paid for my sins and his life ma...