Whispers of the World...

Every now and then I have to pause and really remind myself that the whispers of the world are wrong!

It's those times when I start to get a little depressed for no reason, when I start to compare my life to the life of others, when I wonder why I am wasting my talents and missing out on the things I really enjoy.

This world is constantly whispering in my ear...

… what are you trying to prove?  … you can’t, and you won’t be anything special.

It’s true that even in our best efforts we will never be perfect.  We can study, practice or devote more time to becoming better at something or even special in some unique way but we’ll never truly succeed.  Our shallow motives drive our attention and we always become consumed with idea that we need to prove our worth our value or simply the fact that we mean something.  I often find myself believing the lies that no matter what I do I will never be smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough.  But the true is I may never accomplish anything super spectacular or make a huge impact on the world, but I will always be special to God. 

... why do you bother when no one really cares about you?  … no body really loves you. 
It’s very easy to fall into the self sorry pit and believe that no one loves you especially if you're an emotional women. We have a tendency to put everyone first in our lives.  We're mothers and wives who never say no and often times ask ourselves if anyone even notices our sacrifices.  (Even more so with teenagers...)  I don't mind loving my family but when it comes to being loved back, sometimes we don't feel it as much as we give it.  But God is constantly teaching me to love others unconditionally ... not expecting anything in return and the world keeps telling me at times .. that's not right and that's not fair.  I have to remind myself that human love will never fulfill me completely  and is often fading but God's love is eternal.  He will love me regardless of what I bring and will never stop. 

Sometimes we have to tell the whispers to be quiet.  Sometimes we have to scream at the whispers to be quiet and sometimes we just need to turn the music up and drown them out.  It's not easy but if we stay grounded in God's love and faithfulness ... we can often remind ourselves that the  whispers are lies and aren't true.

Google Music... The Millennial Mixtape .. What?

This week has been one of those weeks I've needed to put in the ear buds and tune out the world... 

I have a lot of Google music radio stations saved... something for every mood.

  Music from the 90s, 80s, U2, REM, Jazz, Techno, Christian Pop Rock, David Crowder... so forth

But today I was looking for something different and I found the Millennial Mixtape. 

First, I found it funny because do any Millennial actually know what a mix tape is?

Then I clicked it .. and Nirvana came on... What ??  Millennial's know Nirvana?  I can't seem to think a bunch of 10 year old was listening to Kurt Cobain in the early 90s... 

Funny how music is classified these days 90's grunge = Millennial Mixtape. 

Demolition or Escalation

I was thinking back on my life of the different types of people there are in the world.  

   Those that are introvert and Those that are extroverts
   Those that are optimist and Those that are pessimist
   Those that are givers and Those that are takers
   Those that agreeable and Those that are disagreeable
   Those that build up and Those that tear down

I often reflect on what type of person am I .. Sometimes I feel pessimist and sometimes I feel optimist.  Sometimes I give a lot and sometimes I take a lot.  Sometimes I build up others and unfortunately sometimes I tear others down.  

No one is perfect but it's import to recognize what type of person you are ... what type of person you would like to be and what type of person you tend to hang around. 

I have found myself cutting people out of my life that tend to just tear me down.  They don't really celebrate my accomplishments or joys with me ... but rather point out the times I've failed or wasn't good enough.  
   
I want to be around people who build you up... rather than tear you down.  But more importantly I want to be mindful of encouraging others were they are in life and hopefully I will do more building than demolition.  

Just remember everyone is under construction and sometimes we need to do a little renovation in our lives... thankful we have a great carpenter!

AP..P yeah you know me..

My Sophomore daughter is convinced that the only real way to get into college these days is to overwhelm herself with ton's of AP classes and having a GPA of 4.5... because her current 4.0 GPA isn't good enough.  

But high school guidance counselors convince freshman and sophomores they won't get into college at all, if they don't take these AP classes or have 4.5 GPAs.  My daughter seems to believe that her high school education is highly pivotal to future successes and college acceptance.  

Over and over again we try to tell our children to work hard and do their best but to enjoy and live life.  

Last night my husband told our daughter about a women who went to his high school.  She was tried and true an academic, was the highest ranked in her class,  with the best GPA ... maybe she was even class valedictorian (and yes I had to spell check that.) She worked so hard in school and gave up a lot of the fun/social things, because she was going to have a future that was going to be most spectacular.  However... (you knew this was coming..)  less than a year after high school she was in an accident that made her a paraplegic. Everything she striven for was gone.  We grieve when something bad happens to someone who seemed to have it all together and then something tragic happens.  It's not uncommon.  

At the end of each day, what's most important in life?  We should have healthy dreams and goals for ourselves...and I do believe in higher education.  Yet as I've gotten older I've grown to realize that life is way too short... stressful (enough).. and without guarantees.  

So my daughter will most likely still take a bunch of AP classes, but hopefully she realizes that education (yes is important) may open some doors, experiencing life will never be learned in a book or classroom... and you should never put your life on hold or allow high school guidance counselors to dictate your future.  


P.S.  I didn't take a single AP class in high school and I had to google what AP stands for (which is Advanced Placement)  When I did go to college (after a short gap) I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a double major in Business Administration and Accounting... I also had a really great time in High School with very little stress!   

Childhood Bullies...

Both of my children are pretty great kids.  (Thanks be to God.. he made them!)
They are intelligent, kind, compassionate and loving... but even still they both have had run ins with bullies over the years.   Bullying isn't really anything new... it dates backs to the beginning of human beings.  I am sure each of us can all think of someone who was or is a bully.  Someone who abuses their power or takes advantage of others.

I have been pretty good at kissing scraped knees over the years .. but when it comes to scraped hearts...  It's been so much harder.  My husband and I often say to each other "man, kids can just be so mean..."

As parents we want to protect the innocence or our children but also not shield them from the world.  We don't want them exposed to unnecessary torment even still teaching them to rise above the sinful hearts of others.  It's a very hard balance to turn the check but also not be so naive and let people take advantage of you.

Somethings we've learned:
   Words hurt sometimes more than scraped knees
   It's ok to be non-confrontational and walk away from people
   Real friends won't be good weather friends.  Sometimes friends will come and go and that's ok
   Making a bigger deal out of it... sometimes is worse than what it was from the get-go
   Everyone is a child of God ... even bullies

I wish I could say I've done great parenting job in the area.. but if I am truthful - I haven't.  I need to often remind myself of the things I know.. God is good and no matter what struggles we go through he's there to pick us up. 

Losing a loved one...

Recently someone I adore lost a loved one.  Her husband.  Suddenly and Tragically. 

Just months prior to that a co-worker of mine lost his 5 year old son.  Suddenly and Tragically.  

At times, I can't even imagine the pain and sadness.  

Sometimes all we can do is grieve.  We know that grieving is all part of the design of this world.  It's normal, it's emotional and it's personal.  We know that it's good to grieve and we know that even Jesus did so.  

Our human brains can't really put the pieces all together ... not fully... the reason that things happen aren't ours to control or even understand at times.  

Why do people suffer?  Why does losing a love one hurt so much?  Why can't we make it all ok sometimes?  

Losing a love one.. really makes us lean on God and the realization that this place isn't eternal.  

Oh so easier said than done.. yes I know this but I have such great hope in the Lord.  He is faithful until the end.  

So when all I can do is grieve - I want to be constantly reminded of Jesus - he's been there and done that.  

True Colors and Trolls

One random afternoon,
I decided to watch Trolls on Netflix... and no my kids weren't around.  

The story line was ok (about happiness) and it reminded me a lot like the Smurfs!!

I could help but love the part when the Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick sang one of my favorite songs of all time (True Colors by Cyndi Lauper) 

The one little optimist troll finally gave up and became all dull looking... She was previous bright pink.  She was totally down.  

Then the little dull troll pessimist (who was in love with the bright one the whole movie) started singing "True Colors" to her. 

   "The darkness  inside you can make you feel so small..." 

"I see your true colors and that's why I love you..." 

Then she magically gets her color back and then starts singing to him and he becomes all colorful.  Wow.  I think it made me cry!

 "This world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear... call me up because you know I'll be there!" 

Sometimes we all need someone to sing and remind us of our TRUE COLORS!   
So don't be afraid to let them show...