Demolition or Escalation

I was thinking back on my life of the different types of people there are in the world.  

   Those that are introvert and Those that are extroverts
   Those that are optimist and Those that are pessimist
   Those that are givers and Those that are takers
   Those that agreeable and Those that are disagreeable
   Those that build up and Those that tear down

I often reflect on what type of person am I .. Sometimes I feel pessimist and sometimes I feel optimist.  Sometimes I give a lot and sometimes I take a lot.  Sometimes I build up others and unfortunately sometimes I tear others down.  

No one is perfect but it's import to recognize what type of person you are ... what type of person you would like to be and what type of person you tend to hang around. 

I have found myself cutting people out of my life that tend to just tear me down.  They don't really celebrate my accomplishments or joys with me ... but rather point out the times I've failed or wasn't good enough.  
   
I want to be around people who build you up... rather than tear you down.  But more importantly I want to be mindful of encouraging others were they are in life and hopefully I will do more building than demolition.  

Just remember everyone is under construction and sometimes we need to do a little renovation in our lives... thankful we have a great carpenter!

AP..P yeah you know me..

My Sophomore daughter is convinced that the only real way to get into college these days is to overwhelm herself with ton's of AP classes and having a GPA of 4.5... because her current 4.0 GPA isn't good enough.  

But high school guidance counselors convince freshman and sophomores they won't get into college at all, if they don't take these AP classes or have 4.5 GPAs.  My daughter seems to believe that her high school education is highly pivotal to future successes and college acceptance.  

Over and over again we try to tell our children to work hard and do their best but to enjoy and live life.  

Last night my husband told our daughter about a women who went to his high school.  She was tried and true an academic, was the highest ranked in her class,  with the best GPA ... maybe she was even class valedictorian (and yes I had to spell check that.) She worked so hard in school and gave up a lot of the fun/social things, because she was going to have a future that was going to be most spectacular.  However... (you knew this was coming..)  less than a year after high school she was in an accident that made her a paraplegic. Everything she striven for was gone.  We grieve when something bad happens to someone who seemed to have it all together and then something tragic happens.  It's not uncommon.  

At the end of each day, what's most important in life?  We should have healthy dreams and goals for ourselves...and I do believe in higher education.  Yet as I've gotten older I've grown to realize that life is way too short... stressful (enough).. and without guarantees.  

So my daughter will most likely still take a bunch of AP classes, but hopefully she realizes that education (yes is important) may open some doors, experiencing life will never be learned in a book or classroom... and you should never put your life on hold or allow high school guidance counselors to dictate your future.  


P.S.  I didn't take a single AP class in high school and I had to google what AP stands for (which is Advanced Placement)  When I did go to college (after a short gap) I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a double major in Business Administration and Accounting... I also had a really great time in High School with very little stress!   

Childhood Bullies...

Both of my children are pretty great kids.  (Thanks be to God.. he made them!)
They are intelligent, kind, compassionate and loving... but even still they both have had run ins with bullies over the years.   Bullying isn't really anything new... it dates backs to the beginning of human beings.  I am sure each of us can all think of someone who was or is a bully.  Someone who abuses their power or takes advantage of others.

I have been pretty good at kissing scraped knees over the years .. but when it comes to scraped hearts...  It's been so much harder.  My husband and I often say to each other "man, kids can just be so mean..."

As parents we want to protect the innocence or our children but also not shield them from the world.  We don't want them exposed to unnecessary torment even still teaching them to rise above the sinful hearts of others.  It's a very hard balance to turn the check but also not be so naive and let people take advantage of you.

Somethings we've learned:
   Words hurt sometimes more than scraped knees
   It's ok to be non-confrontational and walk away from people
   Real friends won't be good weather friends.  Sometimes friends will come and go and that's ok
   Making a bigger deal out of it... sometimes is worse than what it was from the get-go
   Everyone is a child of God ... even bullies

I wish I could say I've done great parenting job in the area.. but if I am truthful - I haven't.  I need to often remind myself of the things I know.. God is good and no matter what struggles we go through he's there to pick us up.