Losing a loved one...

Recently someone I adore lost a loved one.  Her husband.  Suddenly and Tragically. 

Just months prior to that a co-worker of mine lost his 5 year old son.  Suddenly and Tragically.  

At times, I can't even imagine the pain and sadness.  

Sometimes all we can do is grieve.  We know that grieving is all part of the design of this world.  It's normal, it's emotional and it's personal.  We know that it's good to grieve and we know that even Jesus did so.  

Our human brains can't really put the pieces all together ... not fully... the reason that things happen aren't ours to control or even understand at times.  

Why do people suffer?  Why does losing a love one hurt so much?  Why can't we make it all ok sometimes?  

Losing a love one.. really makes us lean on God and the realization that this place isn't eternal.  

Oh so easier said than done.. yes I know this but I have such great hope in the Lord.  He is faithful until the end.  

So when all I can do is grieve - I want to be constantly reminded of Jesus - he's been there and done that.  

True Colors and Trolls

One random afternoon,
I decided to watch Trolls on Netflix... and no my kids weren't around.  

The story line was ok (about happiness) and it reminded me a lot like the Smurfs!!

I could help but love the part when the Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick sang one of my favorite songs of all time (True Colors by Cyndi Lauper) 

The one little optimist troll finally gave up and became all dull looking... She was previous bright pink.  She was totally down.  

Then the little dull troll pessimist (who was in love with the bright one the whole movie) started singing "True Colors" to her. 

   "The darkness  inside you can make you feel so small..." 

"I see your true colors and that's why I love you..." 

Then she magically gets her color back and then starts singing to him and he becomes all colorful.  Wow.  I think it made me cry!

 "This world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear... call me up because you know I'll be there!" 

Sometimes we all need someone to sing and remind us of our TRUE COLORS!   
So don't be afraid to let them show...  

What’s going on inside of me?

Today is my birthday!

And exactly Twenty years ago to this day, I packed up my life and moved from a small Pennsylvania town to Americus, Georgia.  

Since College wasn’t something anyone thought I should consider right out of high school, I had signed up to be a Habitat*AmeriCorps volunteer.    I had a huge heart for Habitat and I wanted to give people a simple decent home.  But more Importantly I was set off to change the world.   

I was a naive 18-year-old and God use that to shape and mold me.   So here I am 20 years later wondering what happened to that simple Yankee girl who… had big dreams and big ambitions to make the world a better place.    

I have a pretty great life.  But I didn’t think I would end up here… a wife, a mom, an accountant… I am truly grateful for my life but sometimes I wonder what’s going on inside of me?  What’s my purpose and what’s Gods big plan because most days I am just winging it.   Most days I am wondering where did my motivation and servant heart go.  Why do we lose some of that youthfulness and passion as we get older?

Thankfully I know that God’s not finished with me yet.  My race is underway and I may not always  feel like I have the motivation or strength but I know I can keep going because of his faithfulness..

I am humbled and reminded that I always wanted to be BOLD, be STRONG, be FEARLESS and to GIVE without end.  So as I celebrate another day of life God has given me … I  thank him for it all... and ask for that boldness, strength and heart much like the one I had 20 years ago.  

Discontented

Too often, I fail to comprehend the splendor of what I have. 

I've been trying to figure out why I take so many things for granted and how to really just be content.

I'm not alone in this struggle.  We live in a world that is constantly telling us to buy more, do more, and to want more.

I've been struggling with how let go of the everyday annoyance that keep me from enjoying the simple things.

Recently while traveling, I asked myself "Why I'm always in a hurry to get there?" "Why don't I have time to stop and take a photo of the sunset or an old building that makes me smile." "Why don't I just enjoy the journey."

I'm always in a rush because I want to get to my destination.  I don't stop and admire life and I am always telling myself ' you can enjoy that later in life.'

As I get older I'm seeing th at I've become more content in certain areas but I have a long way to go in others.

We must live wanting less... In a world that tells us we must want more.

I know I must slow down and learn to be content in the small moments... Just need to keep reminding myself to do so.

Summer Traditions

As a working mother, it is very hard when it comes to summer and kids being out of school.  There is a sense of "mom- guilt" we have by putting our kids in summer camps all summer while you go off to work.  They always love the adventures they have, but there is a void ... that you didn't get to be with them.

I have always made a big deal with creating summer traditions for our family to do together.  We have made a Buck Family Summer Bucket List for quite a few years now.  Our list always included fun - inexpensive things to do as a family.  Backyard Movie marathons, building sheet fortress and sleeping out in it, or playing laser tag in the dark (yes we have our own laser tag guns.)

Some of  things we did one summer have become a new family tradition that goes on every summer bucket list.  A couple of those include the Annual Buck family Watermelon eating contest, going to Jordan Lake for stargazing, and the annual summer Mohawk that my son gets.

  
As Gideon (currently age 10)  has gotten older, he's grown to love his summer Mohawk and he wears it well.  I am not sure when he gets into middle school/ high school if he'll continue this tradition but for now he does and it makes summers just a little more fun for him!

~ Does your family have any summer traditions?

Wonder Woman Review

Disclaimer: I am no movie expert.  I am no comic book expert.  I will not give away spoilers.   This review is just your average (wonderful) woman watching another (wonderful) comic book movie.

We all have watched DC try to make a movie as good as Marvel, and frankly we are getting a little time of Marvel making so many movies, so it's great when DC has a hit ... and Wonder Woman was it!

Let's just get it out there.. yes  Gal Gadot is HOT and having arrived to the acting gig from modeling not all that long ago, she's got great potential.  I loved her facial expressions, body language and heart throughout the movie.

Diane Prince gets to experience all of what life is... and isn't.  She see's war, hated, heroism and love.  She becomes Wonder Woman in this movie... he beginning story.

Her charterer is strong, independent, charismatic and loving... all the things I aspire daily to be.  (I wouldn't mind looking like her either...)

As a woman, I highly enjoyed seeing a Female LEAD Comic book movie...with  war, hated, heroism and most importantly love.   I feel like they've tried to make good female superheros but always failed.

I can't recall having seen a good FEMALE lead movie by either Marvel and DC before.   I WONDER why it's taken so long ...

Motherhood Reminders..

I became a mom, around the time most of my friends were graduating college and living it up as young singles do.

I never visioned getting married at 20 or starting a young family shortly after. 
I certainly didn't have anything figured out but quickly learned what was most important.

Being a mom has taught me...

   -To laugh and be silly.  It's important to maintain a sense of humor.  Play dress up. Watch Cartoons. Dance crazy. Make mud pies.. and so forth.  Time is so short and before you know it.. you have a high school-er and almost middle school-er. 

  - To Embrace the mess.  The uncleaned house.  The dirty dishes.  The crazy wild bed head hair and the (endless) mounts of laundry just sitting in the corner.  No Mom has it figured out and you can't let life spills and mishaps bring you down.

  - To stop comparing yourself.  For both mom's and children.  The grass isn't greener.  Every child is different.  And every mom is different.  No kid is perfect and certainly no Mom is either. Be encouraged and not discouraged when others seem to have it all, because truth is they don't.

  - To love unconditionally.  A newborn child brings absolutely nothing to the relationship, rather than needing to eat, sleep and be changed... At all hours of the day.  But a mother has an unconditional love for the child, that even 10-15 (and probably way more) years later never fade. 

Motherhood is challenging and rewarding.  Some days it's both of those.  Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's really hard.   Some times you get a glimpse of God's great design and goodness.. through your smiling child.  

But being a mom is a great thing to be and I'm blessed.