What’s going on inside of me?

Today is my birthday!

And exactly Twenty years ago to this day, I packed up my life and moved from a small Pennsylvania town to Americus, Georgia.  

Since College wasn’t something anyone thought I should consider right out of high school, I had signed up to be a Habitat*AmeriCorps volunteer.    I had a huge heart for Habitat and I wanted to give people a simple decent home.  But more Importantly I was set off to change the world.   

I was a naive 18-year-old and God use that to shape and mold me.   So here I am 20 years later wondering what happened to that simple Yankee girl who… had big dreams and big ambitions to make the world a better place.    

I have a pretty great life.  But I didn’t think I would end up here… a wife, a mom, an accountant… I am truly grateful for my life but sometimes I wonder what’s going on inside of me?  What’s my purpose and what’s Gods big plan because most days I am just winging it.   Most days I am wondering where did my motivation and servant heart go.  Why do we lose some of that youthfulness and passion as we get older?

Thankfully I know that God’s not finished with me yet.  My race is underway and I may not always  feel like I have the motivation or strength but I know I can keep going because of his faithfulness..

I am humbled and reminded that I always wanted to be BOLD, be STRONG, be FEARLESS and to GIVE without end.  So as I celebrate another day of life God has given me … I  thank him for it all... and ask for that boldness, strength and heart much like the one I had 20 years ago.