Skip to main content

What’s going on inside of me?

Today is my birthday!
And exactly Twenty years ago to this day, I packed up my life and moved from a small Pennsylvania town to Americus, Georgia.  

Since College wasn’t something anyone thought I should consider right out of high school, I had signed up to be a Habitat*AmeriCorps volunteer.    I had a huge heart for Habitat and I wanted to give people a simple decent home.  But more Importantly I was set off to change the world.   

I was a naive 18-year-old and God use that to shape and mold me.   So here I am 20 years later wondering what happened to that simple Yankee girl who… had big dreams and big ambitions to make the world a better place.    

I have a pretty great life.  But I didn’t think I would end up here… a wife, a mom, an accountant… I am truly grateful for my life but sometimes I wonder what’s going on inside of me?  What’s my purpose and what’s Gods big plan because most days I am just winging it.   Most days I am wondering where did my motivation and servant heart go.  Why do we lose some of that youthfulness and passion as we get older?

Thankfully I know that God’s not finished with me yet.  My race is underway and I may not always  feel like I have the motivation or strength but I know I can keep going because of his faithfulness..


I am humbled and reminded that I always wanted to be BOLD, be STRONG, be FEARLESS and to GIVE without end.  So as I celebrate another day of life God has given me … I  thank him for it all... and ask for that boldness, strength and heart much like the one I had 20 years ago.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What are you afraid of?

It's Friday the 13th a day in which urban legends come out and people become a little bit superstitious or a little more frightful.    I remember in the late 90s - early 2000s playing Friday the 13th on the Sega Genesis....  All was fine in the day light as you walked around the campground and sometimes you had to get in the boat to go across the lake to the other side.  Life was good... The children were safe.  Then it started to get dark... your Children numbers started dropping, and you had to go find what was taking the children and you knew what was taking them.  You now had to search each of the cabins and in the darkeness even though you expected it at every turn Boom there was JASON and you just said holy S#@T  and screamed a bit in terror.   You took your little rock and threw it at Jason and did your best to dodge the knife as he slashed at you.   Sometimes you defeated him, Sometimes he killed you.  Someti...

Are You Growing Your People Like a Gardener?

Lately at work, I've been feeling like that dead office plant. You know the one sitting in the corner, all wilted, dried up, and barely hanging on. It's surprisingly easy to feel malnourished and deflated. For a plant, it's a lack of water and sunshine. For people, it's often a lack of encouragement, support, and motivation. I love buying plants. I love when they're full, green, and thriving. The problem is, I'm not always great at keeping them that way. Recently, I came across a checklist for growing healthy plants: Know your plants. Make sure the containers or pots are big enough. Provide the right amount of sunshine. Water them only as often as needed. Fertilize them. Check on them regularly. Keep pests away. As I was reading the list, I realized how much of it applies to being a manager. Know your employees. Make sure they're in positions where they can grow and flourish. Encourage and motivate them. Provide constructive feedback. Pay them fairly. Che...

Twisted Motives

A few weeks ago, I had gotten an idea to paint a picture.   I haven't painted anything in months, as I am not often motivated or inspired to do so.  But one Saturday afternoon, I found some motivation.   I started to paint a very colorful picture, that I started to really love how it was coming out.  Most of the time I don't love my artwork, but find it to be rather nice/ tolerable.   But this painting was a bit different.  I really loved it and in that moment, I wanted to give it to a friend that was(is) going through a rough moment in life.  I thought of her as I was paining it and I told my daughter I wanted to give it to her.  She said "you should."   I second guessed myself and was trying to talk myself out of giving it to her.  I said, oh it would seem strange me giving her a painting. But the Holy Spirit prompted me and reassured that I should give it to her.  That afternoon after the paint dried, I wrapped the painting...