What you really need...

Recently, my husband has really started worrying about a dear one.  This person in our lives hasn't really been able to find steady work, has a history of depression, and most importantly isn't walking with the Lord.

It's easy to start judging yourself to others and what they have vs. what you have or don't have.   I know the song and dance oh so well, when I see it in my own life.  Yet, I am slowly starting to learn that what you need the most isn't a fluffy 401K or savings in the bank,  a big house in Preston County club, or a Executive job title that tells the world you are someone.  But, what you need the most is Jesus.

"Yeah yeah, yeah they all say that right?"  But the truth is nothing else is more important in life than walking with him.

We often look for the wrong things in life to make us happy - a lover, a friend, a drink, a vacation... I could go on forever.  I know often I find myself falling into the trap that "life is good" and I can do it all on my own.

But over and over, I fall down and cry out.  'Damn, here I go again!'  I really have little to offer the world without the grace and love of my God.  For through him alone I am able to get up, brush myself off and keep on going.

We worry about the people in our life, especially those who don't realize no matter what you will keep falling down (period.)   No person is exempt from life's trials, tribulations and heartaches.  Everyone falls down (because of sin.)  But what's important that it's far easier to let God pick you up and brush you off than doing it yourself.

What is most important is looking to him alone to satisfy your ever need.  He wants to and he is more than willing.  We all fall short of his glory and Majesty.   We have really nothing to offer him other than our broken life's and sinful hearts.  But the awesomeness in that.. is he wants it.  He wants all of us and though he doesn't like us to suffer, he uses it for good - to teach us.

We're never going to get it all right on our own... not no no way, not no how.  But reach out to Jesus and with him, you can walk on water and move mountains.  He's what you really need...

No Doubt

It's simply does continue to amaze me how often I have doubt.

I doubt so many things, and people.  I often don't give people the 'benefit of the doubt' and I am constantly waiting for the promises people make to be broken.

I am just so full of doubt at times.  I am not really afraid, just cynical.  And all too often I doubt that God is going to take care of me (and specifically my family.)

I am constantly uncertain about so many things but that's what makes me so human.   I  feel like I have been worn down to a rusty nail at times.   Having been criticized by parents and siblings,  Not being acknowledged for the special things I have done or accomplished, spending time with toxic people, or even being rejected by my peers and friends.  It starts small and gathers over time.  

When you find your self in constant doubt, you become numb to the world.  I feel like I am here again and again and this is a constant battle in which I face.  I build my little doubt house and put a sign on the door that says "Keep Out".  I know deep down that I shouldn't be such a pessimistic, especially when it comes to God, yet I can't help myself. 

I know with all my heart and mind, He will never forsake me and will always be watching over me.  Yet I am often like doubting Thomas. 

I can really relate to Thomas, he wasn't going to believe unless he saw it with his own eyes and touched the wounds with his hands.  The Lord said to Thomas, “Do not doubt, but believe.” 

It's reassuring to me that everyone goes through times of doubt (sometimes over and over again much like myself.) Peter was walking on the water and then sinks when he doubts even thought it was just a second of doubt.    

I am reminded that I learn to be faithful even within my doubt.  Thomas didn't stay a doubter.  He gets the bad wrap for being known as the doubter, but he over comes it and goes on to be a huge advocate for Christ Jesus.  

I know that times I need to have more faith in God and more faith in people. 
I need to acknowledge my doubts, not dwell in then and move on. Life is short and we all face trails and tribulations in some form or another, doubt is just one of my many.  

Letter to my Future Son in Law

So I decided to write a letter to my future son-in-law.  I know this is a bit odd, since my daughter is only 12, but I felt this strong desire to write a letter anyway to him anyway!

Curious, how much I should share with the world.  I hope nothing happens to me in which I can't hand deliver, but for now I choose to keep the whole letter private.  

Nevertheless, here are a few things my letter holds. 

My letter begins with ... 

Dear boy who will be the most important person in my daughter’s life, 

In my letter I share with him personally who my daughter is (as of today April 25, 2014)  I also share insider knowledge on what what he needs to know most on how to love my daughter.  I know her more than she knows herself most days and I specifically know what it means to be a wife and a child of God.

I go on to give him 10 key wisdom points. I tell him he must have or do to having a successful relationship with my daughter.   

I instill upon him all the things I wish someone would have instill upon us on our nuptials.  I am honest that my daughter isn't perfect and marriage isn't always easy.  

Somehow... writing this letter helped me come to the realization that my beautiful girl will someday be a beautiful wife.  And it's never to soon to start praying for a beautiful marriage for that sweet little feisty redhead of mine.  

I end the 7 page letter with this...

I love you already – and always,

Mom

Insurmountable...

Every now and then doesn't it seem like life just keeps pitching you fast balls?  No matter what you do to get ahead in the game, the game gets a little overwhelming?

Once you finally washed all the dishes, you happen to notice the mount and mount of laundry waiting for you. 

You get one kid to t-ball only to realized the other one has dance or ballet across town at the same time.

I have been extremely busy this past few years with working, school and family and every now and then I just get so overwhelmed... It all feels Insurmountable!  But is it really?

Is anything really too great to overcome?  I have read countless stories of people who had every right to through their hands up can claim defeat, but strived and kept going against all odds... what’s makes those people so different from the rest of us?  Where they gifted a superpower of perseverance or endurance?

Just this morning I heard a snip-it on the radio about Job... you know the guy, right?   Job a wealthy man living in UZ with his large family.  He is blameless and upright he does the right thing in the eyes of God.  But Satan challenges God and in a sense they make a bet on how well Job would do in torment of Satan. 

I know what you’re thinking... nice God you got there toying with Job’s life but the story goes on and Job is tested and pretty much loses everything he has including all of his children, he is afflicted with skin sores and his wife basically losses all hope in him and tells him to curse God and die.  Wow.  If that isn’t overwhelming, all of his friends tell him, you must’ve done something pretty bad to have all this affiliation and Job is being punished.  They basically lay into Job and the story goes on, until ultimately God finally interrupts and pretty much puts all in place. 

The entire book of Job is difficult for many to understand, why an all-powerful God allows good people to suffer.   We don’t want to suffer and find ourselves with moments of in surmount.  We don’t want to feel defeated by any means, but that’s when God speaks to us the most...in our pain... in our sufferings.   

In the grand scheme of things,  I am not sure if I have ever had a problem or situation that was insurmountable.  Satan really does stand by waiting to whisper in our ears the lies,  the torment.  Satan often wants us to give up and say that is just too much for me <curse God.>

We often find ourselves too busy that often times we make our lives more complex than they need to be.  We plan expensive vacations only to realize the kids love playing in the back yard just as much.  We take jobs in which we know we can't do.  We make our lives overwhelming by trying to fill it with all the wrong things.    We make medical excuses when we can't justify our behaviors.  We lie, we steal, we cheat..  we are messed up individuals that will never have it all together.   And mostly we don't trust God enough to see us through the difficult times.

Life isn't as simple as ABC but it certainly isn't as insurmountable as we all think.   

Titles for POWER for JUSTIFICATION for WORTH

Recently, my office mates and I got all new job titles.  We had just finished a strategic plan/ continue improvement plan and felt that all of our positions needed to be realigned.  We needed job titles that fit what it is we actually do. 

It really got me thinking about why we have titles... is it for power, justification, or self-worth? Why does it matter if we are a "manager" "director" "officer"... what titles really matter.  

When you think of these "TITLES" below, do you really think of the definitions given to us?

MOTHER:  a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.

FRIEND: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, 

SPOUSE: a husband or wife, considered in relation to their partner.

EMPLOYEE: a person employed for wages or salary, esp. at nonexecutive level.

EMPLOYER: a person or organization that employs people.

COLLEGUE: a person with whom one works esp. in a profession or business.

TEACHER: a person who teaches, esp. in a school.

JEW: a member of the people and cultural community whose traditional religion is Judaism and who trace their origins through the ancient Hebrew people of Israel to Abraham.

CHRISTIAN: a person who has received Christian baptism or is a believer in Jesus Christ and his teachings.

HOMOSEXUAL: a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

VICTIM: a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.

The list could go on forever, things can be added or taken away like drug addict, recovering alcoholic, liar, thief, etc... Even in the church people put titles on each other... Preacher, Deacon, Elder... There is even a wikipedia page full of official ‘status’ titles: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_titles

So often and so easily we put labels and titles on people and on ourselves.  It’s for vanity or for humility.  Those are the titles we put on ourselves when we can’t accomplish something.  The times we say to ourselves...  I could never do that I am not a BLANK...

Don’t we feel more important if we have all good and significant labels and titles?  It’s our human nature to have pride in what we do and that’s not what I am talking about.  We look for justification and awards from people... we want to be called you a super hero mother or a rock star employee?  Too often we look for this world and the titles of this world to confirm who we are or what we want to be.   

Even at the last supper the disciples bickered and over the title of ending up the greatest.  Jesus intervened saying “Kings like to throw their weight around and people in authority like to give themselves fancy titles.  But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” 

Jesus told his followers to give up their titles, become less... Become the least of these... Can we do that today?  Can we give up the things we so inherently want? Statue, Fame, Titles...

You will be so much more, if you accept that what you really need is to be less... throw away the titles. 

At the end of it all... when they lay your body to rest, what ‘title’ will be on your tombstone?  Do you really think it will read: “Present of the BLANK club” or “Director of BLANK” or “Volunteer of BLANK?”  Most likely it will only say a few things.  Your name, your birth, your death, and the one thing that defines you most. 

Don’t get caught up or hung on the titles of this world or who will be the greatest, but rather live a life that is legendary that no words will ever suffice... that no title can ever capture... 

My Kids Aren't Mine

A coworker of mine just learned that a boy in her children’s daycare died suddenly from an accident at home yesterday.  She grieves today for the family and rightfully so.  It is upsetting to know that you have really zero control over the things that happen in your children’s life.  It’s upsetting to experience such tragedy so soon before Christmas.  

As a parent, you do your best to not let them eat too much candy, wear their helmets when they are riding their bikes, look both ways and hold an adults hand when they cross the street,  but ultimately... you have no control, no real power over what really happens to them.

Here’s the kicker... when you have no real faith in God who does have control over all things... you feel empty and helpless.  Where is your hope, without Christ?  My friend grieves because she doesn’t understand the concept of Christ and the meaning of faith.

To me I would be devastated if I lost my children at a young age.  Or any age at that.  Its true parents should die before their children but often times... children pass on, tragedy strikes, and your heart sinks.  Often time’s people wonder why is this bad thing, happening to me?

As a Christian, we know that sin came into the world and ever since... many many bad things have happened.  We have no control over the bad things.

You can rationalize everything, live in a bubble, do your best to protect your children, but without faith and without God it’s hopeless.   Faith gives you peace and hope.  It brings you comfort when you know that “Your Best Efforts” don’t have to be good enough, because God is good and your debt has been paid.

Jesus said “Let the children come to me.”  As a parent, I know that my children aren’t my possession.  They are not mine.   No parent wants to loss a child... ever.  But having faith in Christ, reassures us that this life is not our home and the journey there can be long or it can be short.  

My Minute for Mission Testimony...

Buenos días, me llamo Heather Buck and let me tell you my Spanish speaking abilities pretty much end there. 

I have been invited to talk to give you a short testimony of our recent trip to La Ceiba, Honduras…

I,  like many of you, I have been following and praying for Shannon Innes de Ordonez (Or Don Yez)’s life and ministry through her facebook, her blog and e-newsletters for five years now... (Back story for those of you that don’t know Shannon, she grew up here at Peace, was a critical member of the youth department, and is now a full time missionary for MTW in La Ceiba, Honduras), So going on the Peace Honduras Mission trip just a few weeks ago has truly helped me appreciate why she is there and what her team is doing to advance God’s Kingdom in La Cieba, Honduras. 

When Peace announced sending another mission team to Honduras, both Tim and I felt the uttermost desire to go instantly.  But I had no idea how God was going to use me or what he was going to teach me…

Might I say it was an awesome experience …

I consider myself genuinely blessed to have gotten to work inside Shannon’s girl’s home: painting, plumbing, playing with babies and trying hard to communicate to these young ladies with my terrible Spanish and us trying to teach them English.   It’s a great honor put a face to B, C, K and Y .. the young women and their children. I am able to hold them in my heart more intimately now.   I also got to spend some time one-on-one with Shannon hearing about some of their struggles in La Cieba and how each of the girls is walking with the Lord.  Shannon has to be so many things for these young women as she is disciplining and loving them every day.  I felt like all we I did all week was a few home improvements, but what God did was allowed me to be part of their lives, love on them, teaching them and empower them that they can paint their rooms or do a few other home improvements.   

One of the other Honduras Team ministry some of us worked with that week was with the Church Planting team in La Fe, with Mike and Ashley Troxell.  La Fe is a squatter area in La Cebia, and made me quickly remember my roots with Habitat for Humanity and simple decent housing.  These families live in shacks along the river, have very little, and their kids are just about the sweetest things in the world.  From playing soccer, making crafts, trying extremely hard to read Spanish kids book to them, and swimming the not so lovely river... these kids loved on us as much as we loved on them.  

I volunteered to help take one very sick little boy from the La Fe to the local hospital with Ashley.  Rikelme (Ra Kale Mae)… was burning up, lethargic, and in pain, as I held him in the back of the truck.  All I could do was hold him, humming Jesus loves me to him.  His mother reminded me of an old  neighbor of mine. In the waiting area I held him, with one shoulder around his mother, whom wept.  Ashley was extremely discouraged.   I felt so helpless that I couldn't communicate with anyone  to be more helpful.  I sat, saddened with seeing this terrible healthcare system, this very sick little boy, a weary missionary and a mom afraid to lose yet another family member.  All I could do was hold him, and pray. 

As a mom, I want to provide the best life possible for my kids, and it simply broke my heart that these families in Honduras live in poverty.  The kids, so proud of their 50 cent flip flops and crafts we made with them, and they didn’t want to leave our sides the entire time we were with them.  They had some of the biggest and brightest smiles... and most importantly they had God in their hearts and that to me was awesome!  

So my testimony is now a Mission challenge for each of you:

·         Please pray… for Team Honduras and for Shannon and the other missionaries, we saw firsthand how much of their daily lives they give to others,  and it’s hard and they grow weary. 

·         Second  give… when Darcie asks for cleats-  give cleats, clothes, school supplies.  MONEY... We have so much and those people have so little...  so just give what you can, when you can.

·         Lastly, the next time Peace sends a team on a mission trip to Honduras or somewhere...  go. 

Often times you have this vision of going on a mission trip and how much you hope to give and accomplish, but often time God uses mission trips to change your heart, giving you the opportunity to see his kingdom come and his will being done from all ends of the earth...  and it is good!

Seeing the photos and hearing the stories both my kids already ask if they could go next time and have already has been talking as if they are going.   If you think about it the Apostle Paul was a long term missionary that went on a Short Term Mission trips, so if the opportunity presents itself go… You won’t regret it and God will use you for his glory. 

Thank you!