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When Self-Worth Gets Lost in the Climb

Abraham Maslow, a psychologist in the early 1900s, developed what many of us know as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. If you studied it in school as much as I did, you'll remember his famous triangle that illustrates the different levels of human needs.

At the bottom of the triangle, which is the largest section, are our physiological needs: air, food, water, shelter, and other necessities required for survival. These are the things we must have in order to live.

The next level is safety, which includes employment, stability, resources, health, law and order, and financial security.

Above that is love and belonging, which encompasses friendship, family, and close relationships. I know a few people who might argue that this should be first, but according to Maslow, it comes after our basic physiological and safety needs are met.

The fourth level is esteem. This includes self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect from others, status, and reputation.

At the top of the triangle is self-actualization, the smallest section but, in my opinion, the most important. It is where personal growth and fulfillment reside. It is where our creativity, morality, problem-solving abilities, and sense of purpose come from. It is where we discover our potential and, often, where I find my sense of value.

Over the years, I have spoken with many people, both personally and professionally, and I've noticed that a surprising number of them struggle with self-worth. Recently, I had a conversation with my husband and admitted that I sometimes struggle with where I am in life. I feel as though I'm not fully using all of my gifts, skills, and talents.

I'm a decent accountant, mother, and wife, but what I often find myself wrestling with is my sense of value. It's not that I'm seeking recognition for everything I do or looking for praise. Rather, like many women I've spoken with, I sometimes feel undervalued. Somewhere between esteem and self-actualization, many of us seem to lose a part of ourselves. We long to reach that place of fulfillment where our lives feel meaningful and aligned with who we were created to be.


I once read a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip in which Calvin says, "God put me on Earth to accomplish a
certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind that I'll never die."
It always makes me laugh, but there's also a truth in it that resonates with me.

At times, I feel like I'm missing crucial clues about what I'm supposed to accomplish in life. I keep looking for the "burning bush" that will clearly tell me where to go and what God is calling me to do. Too often, I feel like I'm wasting time or falling short of my potential, unable to get everything together the way I think I should.

But Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs suggests that our basic needs must be met before we can achieve self-actualization. I often find myself wondering whether that's entirely true. Can we really only move upward through the hierarchy, or do we jump around between levels throughout our lives? Can we find moments of self-actualization even while other needs remain unmet?

Perhaps the journey isn't as linear as Maslow suggested. Perhaps growth, purpose, and fulfillment can appear in unexpected places along the way.

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