You know you’re having a rough patch in life, when you Google: “Dealing with Toxic people.”
Well yes, I did just
that..
You can find many
self-help ideas on how to deal with toxic people. Results included
everything from avoiding them – to – eliminating them. I believe those things are true for many
situations. When you’re dealing with the abuser or the raging alcoholic... Those
situations do call for ending the relationship.
But I am thinking of the
day-to-day toxic people. I wanted to know how to deal with people, who
just suck life from you, those negative nellies, and the narcissistic people
who steal all your joy.
We all have a few of
them in our lives...
I simply can’t quit my
job just because my co-worker is angry a lot of the time. They aren’t always toxic. If we just eliminated them all then most likely no one would be left as we
are all sinners. For me personally, I
really only wanted to better understand how to be around toxic people without becoming one. I see how easy it is to jump on the band
wagon and complain about ... whatever.
Do you know what I am
talking about? Water cooler gossip, slandering the boss, or even
some of those materialistic people who always want MORE. Not the good
kind of more if you know what I mean. Toxic people have hardened hearts
and suffer from something we all suffer from... sin. Toxic people aren't happy
so they want to make everyone around them feel miserable.
So, what should we do?
I like to think Jesus knew a thing or two about toxic people. After
all, one of them was his disciple, Judas. His friend who betrayed him was
a poisonous, lying, greedy man. Judas was toxic and Jesus knew it.
Why would Jesus hang out with a toxic person? Jesus hung out with
as many sinful people - to love them. He washed Judas's feet and
personally invited him to trust in Him. Judas didn't accept him and we know how
the story ends, but we can learn much from how these two individuals lived.
One was loving and one was contaminated.
The truth is toxic
people are all around us, and we can't control what those people do. But,
we can control what we do. I know that I can't change the behavior of
someone who wants to steal my joy and break my love, but I can keep
loving and praying that God will give me the power to respond in love and not
in malice.
I have had people in my
life betray me, tattle-tell on me, bully me, and even try to strike me down.
I can't dwell on that poison - as I know it could spread into
my heart. We have to guard our hearts. But we also have
to love and serve those people.
Matthew 5:43-44 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your
neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for
those who persecute you."
If you look at the life
of Jesus and the way he dealt with toxic people, he ate with them, he served
them, loved them, welcomed them in, but not all the toxic people he hung out
with repaid that back to him. However,
sometimes Jesus did have to walk away from people, not because he didn't love
them, but because they didn't love him or except him.
So we have to give it
our all to those toxic people and know when to walk away. It's not easy,
it's pretty radical if you really think about it. Why would we want to
subject ourselves to noxious? Why would we want to expose myself to
the things that toxic people do? Because to live like Christ, we must die
like to ourselves. Toxic people will always be around us, as sin is
always around us. I feel sorry for people who live a life in their own
toxic waste. Especially when they make the choice to be mean, hateful,
negative, or angry. They choose those things over love, joy, patience,
and kindness...
We may get burned or
scared, most likely we will. We will shake our heads and asks ourselves,
why do I stand this venom? Is it sanctification,
maybe? But we can't let negativity, hatred,
or those other poisons scare us from what God called us to do.
Toxic people need to be loved and we know that Jesus loved the least of these
and so should we. So put on your rubber gloves, guard your heart, pray,
and let God equip you with the power to love the toxic people in your
life.
Ultimately remember that
Jesus loves all people even the toxic
ones.
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