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You’re a danger to me, don’t you know that you’re TOXIC?


You know you’re having a rough patch in life, when you Google: “Dealing with Toxic people.”

Well yes, I did just that..

You can find many self-help ideas on how to deal with toxic people.  Results included everything from avoiding them – to – eliminating them.  I believe those things are true for many situations.  When you’re dealing with the abuser or the raging alcoholic...  Those situations do call for ending the relationship. 

But I am thinking of the day-to-day toxic people.  I wanted to know how to deal with people, who just suck life from you, those negative nellies, and the narcissistic people who steal all your joy.

We all have a few of them in our lives...

I simply can’t quit my job just because my co-worker is angry a lot of the time.  They aren’t always toxic.  If we just eliminated them  all then most likely no one would be left as we are all sinners.  For me personally, I really only wanted to better understand how to be around toxic people without becoming one.  I see how easy it is to jump on the band wagon and complain about ... whatever. 

Do you know what I am talking about?  Water cooler gossip, slandering the boss, or even some of those materialistic people who always want MORE.  Not the good kind of more if you know what I mean.   Toxic people have hardened hearts and suffer from something we all suffer from... sin. Toxic people aren't happy so they want to make everyone around them feel miserable.  

So, what should we do?  I like to think Jesus knew a thing or two about toxic people.  After all, one of them was his disciple, Judas.  His friend who betrayed him was a poisonous, lying, greedy man.  Judas was toxic and Jesus knew it.  Why would Jesus hang out with a toxic person?  Jesus hung out with as many sinful people - to love them.  He washed Judas's feet and personally invited him to trust in Him. Judas didn't accept him and we know how the story ends, but we can learn much from how these two individuals lived.  One was loving and one was contaminated.

The truth is toxic people are all around us, and we can't control what those people do.  But, we can control what we do.  I know that I can't change the behavior of someone who wants to steal my joy and break my love, but I can keep loving and praying that God will give me the power to respond in love and not in malice.

I have had people in my life betray me, tattle-tell on me, bully me, and even try to strike me down.   I can't dwell on that poison -  as I know it could spread into my heart.  We have to guard our hearts.  But we also have to love and serve those people.

Matthew 5:43-44 says,   “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

If you look at the life of Jesus and the way he dealt with toxic people, he ate with them, he served them, loved them, welcomed them in, but not all the toxic people he hung out with repaid that back to him.  However, sometimes Jesus did have to walk away from people, not because he didn't love them, but because they didn't love him or except him.

So we have to give it our all to those toxic people and know when to walk away.  It's not easy, it's pretty radical if you really think about it.  Why would we want to subject ourselves to noxious?  Why would we want to expose myself to the things that toxic people do?  Because to live like Christ, we must die like to ourselves.  Toxic people will always be around us, as sin is always around us.  I feel sorry for people who live a life in their own toxic waste.  Especially when they make the choice to be mean, hateful, negative, or angry.  They choose those things over love, joy, patience, and kindness...  

We may get burned or scared, most likely we will.  We will shake our heads and asks ourselves, why do I stand this venom?   Is it sanctification, maybe?  But we can't let negativity, hatred, or those other poisons scare us from what God called us to do.   Toxic people need to be loved and we know that Jesus loved the least of these and so should we.  So put on your rubber gloves, guard your heart, pray, and let God equip you with the power to love the toxic people in your life. 

Ultimately remember that Jesus loves all people even the toxic ones.  



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