Just the sound of your voice...

Do you know someone where just the sound of their voice evokes a reaction?  I have a few people in my life that just hearing them speak makes me shriek. Want to hide under my desk or run away because it's not that I dislike them, I just dislike when they speak.

There have been many times I am sure people felt the same way about me.  I didn't always have poise and grace. And often times, more often than not, I would say the stupidest things.  I am sure my voice, at many times made people shriek.

But why is that?  What do we get so consumed by what people have to say or not say, or how the way they say it?

Since the beginning of time our voices have gotten us in trouble.  In the garden God rebukes Adam and Eve by saying “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree..."  (Gen 3:17)

 I often wondered if I find myself more agitated because of what the person is saying or how the person is saying it.  I am sure at times it’s on or the other or both.   I also think it bothers me more when it's those people that really just like to hear the sound of their own voices.  They can't stand quietness.  I use to be much like that.  Lately though, I can drive home without the radio on - in complete silence.  It's nice. 

I think it's important to remember we have great power in our voice and in our words.  We must choose to speak the truth in love and often times I find that may mean not speaking at all.   The bible tells us to be slow to speak and quick to listen.  We don't do that nearly enough in our society.  

Our voices can represent so much more if we recognize how they have been given to us and how we should use them. What we say is a direct reflection of who we are and what is in our hearts.    Therefore, we should just babble on about randomness or use our voices in the wrong manner.

So in conclussion will end with this from 1Thessalonians 2:4 "..so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts."

Polka-Dotted Beauty

Recently, I attended a celebration event for my place of employment.  This prestigious event was celebrating 50 years of our being a part of the community, and the only reason I was invited was because I was helping put on the event.  Nevertheless, I was required to dress in cocktail attire.  I had no idea what cocktail attire was and I knew that I didn’t own anything in my closet that would be appropriate for this event.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a flashy fashion guru.  I happen to also be pretty cheap and nine times out of ten, I don’t buy clothes brand new either.  So I went online and searched cocktail dresses and I scoffed.  It sort of made me sad to think that dresses these days are not much of a dress at all – short and skimpy.  I was also not about to spend $100 on a dress, that I knew I wasn’t going to wear often at all.

So when I kissed my husband goodbye to head to the store, he told me what he thought I should spend and I said ok with a smile. 

My first stop the Goodwill.  Yeah, you saw that one coming right?  Well, I happen to live in an area that people donate some of the nicest clothes.  My daughter came with and helped me pick out three or four dresses and I proceeded to the fitting rooms.  The first one was really cute; it was white with black polka-dots or was it black with white polka-dots, with cute pink straps.  Anyhow, it fit wonderfully.  It wasn’t too short and it was rather flattering on me if I say so myself.  My daughter liked it too and I put it in our basket.  I proceeded to tried on the others and although I liked them, I knew they were not cocktail attire.  So I check out with my $4.50 polka-dotted cocktail dress. 

Now here’s where the story gets really good.  It’s the night of the event.  My co-workers and I get everything set up and we then go and change into our cocktail attire outfits.  They both had very beautiful black dresses and I put on my polka-dotted dress and head out to the start greeting guest. 

It began, one after another.  Complements.  How beautiful I looked.  How cute my dress was.   How I clean up nice.  I had them all night long.  Though it made me feel really beautiful, it made me feel good that I didn’t’ have to buy a $100 dress to look good.  We tell ourselves to be beautiful we have to meet a certain checklist.   God tells us, it’s not what’s on the outside that makes us beautiful, it’s what’s on the inside. 

Our society continues to tell us that we should look like models and actresses.  We must starve ourselves to be thin, have great skin and clothes that perhaps we can’t really afford. 

I could have gone out and bought a $100 dress and looked just as beautiful on the outside.  But I like to think the confidence and joy of my $4.50 dress was all I needed.  I was a polka-dot beauty because that’s the way God made me.  

You’re a danger to me, don’t you know that you’re TOXIC?

You know you’re having a rough patch in life, when you Google: “Dealing with Toxic people.”

Well yes, I did just that..

You can find many self-help ideas on how to deal with toxic people.  Results included everything from avoiding them – to – eliminating them.  I believe those things are true for many situations.  When you’re dealing with the abuser or the raging alcoholic...  Those situations do call for ending the relationship. 

But I am thinking of the day-to-day toxic people.  I wanted to know how to deal with people, who just suck life from you, those negative nellies, and the narcissistic people who steal all your joy.

We all have a few of them in our lives...

I simply can’t quit my job just because my co-worker is angry a lot of the time.  They aren’t always toxic.  If we just eliminated them  all then most likely no one would be left as we are all sinners.  For me personally, I really only wanted to better understand how to be around toxic people without becoming one.  I see how easy it is to jump on the band wagon and complain about ... whatever. 

Do you know what I am talking about?  Water cooler gossip, slandering the boss, or even some of those materialistic people who always want MORE.  Not the good kind of more if you know what I mean.   Toxic people have hardened hearts and suffer from something we all suffer from... sin. Toxic people aren't happy so they want to make everyone around them feel miserable.  

So, what should we do?  I like to think Jesus knew a thing or two about toxic people.  After all, one of them was his disciple, Judas.  His friend who betrayed him was a poisonous, lying, greedy man.  Judas was toxic and Jesus knew it.  Why would Jesus hang out with a toxic person?  Jesus hung out with as many sinful people - to love them.  He washed Judas's feet and personally invited him to trust in Him. Judas didn't accept him and we know how the story ends, but we can learn much from how these two individuals lived.  One was loving and one was contaminated.

The truth is toxic people are all around us, and we can't control what those people do.  But, we can control what we do.  I know that I can't change the behavior of someone who wants to steal my joy and break my love, but I can keep loving and praying that God will give me the power to respond in love and not in malice.

I have had people in my life betray me, tattle-tell on me, bully me, and even try to strike me down.   I can't dwell on that poison -  as I know it could spread into my heart.  We have to guard our hearts.  But we also have to love and serve those people.

Matthew 5:43-44 says,   “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

If you look at the life of Jesus and the way he dealt with toxic people, he ate with them, he served them, loved them, welcomed them in, but not all the toxic people he hung out with repaid that back to him.  However, sometimes Jesus did have to walk away from people, not because he didn't love them, but because they didn't love him or except him.

So we have to give it our all to those toxic people and know when to walk away.  It's not easy, it's pretty radical if you really think about it.  Why would we want to subject ourselves to noxious?  Why would we want to expose myself to the things that toxic people do?  Because to live like Christ, we must die like to ourselves.  Toxic people will always be around us, as sin is always around us.  I feel sorry for people who live a life in their own toxic waste.  Especially when they make the choice to be mean, hateful, negative, or angry.  They choose those things over love, joy, patience, and kindness...  

We may get burned or scared, most likely we will.  We will shake our heads and asks ourselves, why do I stand this venom?   Is it sanctification, maybe?  But we can't let negativity, hatred, or those other poisons scare us from what God called us to do.   Toxic people need to be loved and we know that Jesus loved the least of these and so should we.  So put on your rubber gloves, guard your heart, pray, and let God equip you with the power to love the toxic people in your life. 

Ultimately remember that Jesus loves all people even the toxic ones.  

What does it mean to be a Christian?

I often challenge myself to the simple question, what does it mean to be a Christian?

I show up each day to my place of employment, often wondering, do I put my best forth to be like Christ today? 

We like to put people in little boxes, labels and all.  Some even get ribbon and bows on top.  I know, I certainly get along better with people, once I know what little box they belong in.  We think to ourselves that people in little boxes are easier for us.  We can understand and better to exist with those in each little box.  One for the loving one, one for the peacemaker, one for that grumpy one.   But is that really true? 

I can fun, crazy and flirtatious without being a drunk, foolish, adulterer.  At any moment, I could be put in a box that I don't think I below in.  I want to be in a good box.  But do I show up each day with love, patience, understanding and kindness?   Simple truth and only truth that we should cling to is to love on another.   Could that be my box?  

I may not be as wise as Solomon, as brave as Daniel, or as bold as Paul,  but the assurance I will cling to is the faith of loving others more than myself,  dying to my fleshly desires, and trusting in the one who gave his life so I may live.  I know what box I want to be in... Like most of us.  No box at all.

Christianity in a whole is often put in a box.  Sometime that box is pretty beat up, looking really bad.  Other times that box is as deceiving as it can be.  Beautiful wrappings and a bow like no one has ever seen before.

I know deep down what it means to be a Christian without being in that little box most of us have put Christians in.  I know what it means to humble yourself and put others first.  I don’t always do it.  I am often selfish, prideful and above all greedy.  My heart aches when I feel like I am not doing enough – serving those in need.  I know that I am wealthier, both physically and spiritually - but I still long for more. 

I know that being a Christian is looking really at the heart of a person and not the status of who they are.    I do my best to love my Muslim neighbor, my Jewish friend, and my agnostic co-worker.  I want to live so those who don’t know Him will want to know Him, because they know me.  I will not judge the homosexual, hate the murder, or be afraid of persecutions of others who feel I am wrong.  But not all Christians do that.  Many of us still use those boxes to make our life safer, or easier. 

As for me, I am just a spiritual child of God, doing my best to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly in his ways.  You can put me in any box you would like...  I just want to warn you that I am a bit claustrophobic and every now and then I have the desire to jump out and try and scream “surprise.”   It’s just the kind of person I am. 

Romans 2:1 says " You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."

So what does it mean to be a Christian?  Jesus himself never called his followers Christians, that’s a term we made up.   More importantly He didn’t label people either and put them in little boxes.  Both followers or not, He loved them all the same.   As should we... us ... you know...  Christians.