Be happy

My daughter was telling me about an article she read that said the only way to be happy was to live a simple life.

I told her that though there is some truth to it... There was more to that statement and more to pursing happiness.

Knowing how she operates...I explained that often times we consider happiness the end destination.

Once I do X, Y, Z... Then I'll be happy.
Or
Once I buy X, Y, Z... Then I'll be happy.

I told her that happiness was the journey and though the destination might make you happy, often times it's fleeting.  If you're not happy in the journey/ the here in now, then you're not pursing the right things. 

I used some of my favorite examples...

If you want to run a marathon but you absolutely hate running.. Why give yourself a goal you don't enjoy. If you're not enjoying the journey to the goal then why are you doing it.. most people might say no one enjoys running but that's not true.

Or

If you save up all your money for those new shoes but then your never where then because you don't want them to get ruined..  because life had taught you that the first time You wore them it rained and they got ruined.  But if you don't enjoy the things you have and you slow fear to plague you, then why did you waste your money in the first place.

Life is hard and it's often messy.  We won't always be happy...

But often times we forget to enjoy the little things because we're too focused on the big.. down the road things. (I'm so guilty if this...)  We say to ourselves... I'll be happy later and then later never comes.

So my challenge is to live a simple life and be happy here and now as much as possible... As often as possible. 

Fruit Roll-up

A co-worker of mine just told me a story that he remembered from the fourth grade.

He started off that his mom would daily pack his lunch and include a fruit roll up.  Those are a big deal to kids.  I never got a fruit roll up in my lunches but I remember those kids who did.

One day he got his lunch out of his cubby and his fruit roll up was gone. He knew who took his snack but even though he was upset he didn't say anything. 

When he went home that afternoon,  he told his mom who stole and how upset he was.  His whole day was off because he didn't have his snack.

She told him that he wasn't allowed to retaliate.  The next morning his mom gave him his lunch which included: two fruit roll-ups.  She told him that he was to give the extra one to the girl who took his the day prior.

He did.  He didn't say anything about her stealing it but that today he had brought an extra for her to have. 

He chuckled as he said she never stole it again but what struck me was the pure kindness his mom taught him.

Clearly it had an impact as he still remembered the story even after 30 years.

Too often we covet and we sometimes steal, because we just want what others have.  Or we're the ones that people are stealing from and we often get so upset that people take what isn't theirs.

Sometimes God can teach us much about kindness and forgiveness with just two Fruit Roll ups.

James N Gordon

The other day I got a letter... From Jim Gordon.

Made me think and reflect on my time spent with him.. And here's my conclusion:

Jim was a jerk. Don’t worry, I made sure I told him that every chance I could.  He was completely irresponsible at times.  He drove recklessly and had been known to take short-cuts that weren’t really short cuts at all.  I even once saw him write a letter to someone while he was driving.   He was selfish and not a great husband.  He hurt his beautiful wife too many times to count. 

He lacked fashion sense.  He had crazy hair and wore the ugliest green sweater vest.  He was egotistical.  He was so boastful in himself and would go on record that certain things were only funny when he did them.  He would make fun of you in a heartbeat, even at a wedding… even if you were the bride and it was during the ceremony.   He had the most obnoxious laugh.  He knew how to embarrass you in public and he would do it every chance he could.  He would probably tell you that he was the worst sinner of them all, just as humbling as Paul wrote to Timothy. 

Jim was a jerk and had so many flaws…but don't we all?

Jim Gordon had something most of us lack.  He had a certain charisma that you can’t quite put in words.  He had a spirit you couldn't generate or copy even if you tried.  He dedicated his live to love people where they were, but also to challenge them NOT to stay there.  He didn't buy into the whole status quo and he certainly wasn't the worlds standard of a guy.  

He gave his time to just sit with you and shoot the shit.  He made people feel special even if they were strangers.  He would give the shirt off his back, if you need it.  He could make you laugh even when you had nothing to even smile about. He planted small seeds of faith in so many people. He figured out the key to life and he lived it out beautifully.  He knew how to fart around and He knew how to love like Jesus.  

Even now years later... I want to be a little more like Jim... Farting around and loving like Jesus.

Run down and worn out

I'm a go go go.. Girl.  I don't really know the true meaning of "resting" because I'm always a get it done and then off to the next thing.

I guess when you've trained for a marathon being highly anemic you can find the energy to do about anything.

Even now, I'm starting to feel a bit worn down and wondering if I'm starting to get sick, I'm thinking of all the things I have to get done. 

I'm constantly being yelled at by my husband, that I don't rest and I don't take good care of myself.  But isn't that somewhat the life of a 'working' wife and mom... To be self-sacrificing and wanting to make sure everything is the best it can be even when you're a little worn down? 

I'm getting better at taking care of myself but not nearly as good as my husband would like.  I can't tell the world to just stop because I'm tried.  I'm not wired that way and even when I'm resting I'm still thinking, planning or making my lists.

I know that he only has my best interest at heart, but often times when I'm starting to get sick it burned it I'm humbly reminded at Christ sacrifice for me.  The pain he went through.  My stuffy nose and sore throat are nothing compared to his suffering. 

My "non rest" attitude is centered on the passion to do everything Christ had called me to do.  I remember that marathon so well and how I had to depend on Christ to get me to the finish line.  God doesn't want us to me to suffer but though that I persevere. 

I recognize my stubbornness but I also recognize that Jesus gives me rest, the strength and power to push on. 

So the next time (and the next... And the next...)  I'm feeling run down and worn out... I'll keep turning to Jesus and I'll truly rest when he calls me home.

D - all of the above

I hate taking tests.  It's one of the main reasons I didn't sit for my CPA once I graduated many years ago.

I am terrible at making certain selections to questions. I always find myself second guessing my answers.  Then I would end up getting it wrong, because it was my first choice but because of doubt I changed it.

I always like the option D - all of the above... When in doubt go with D. 

I treat my life much like that, when I don't know the answers I'll go with option D all of the above.  Bagel or doughnut.. both.  Coffee or tea.. Both.   Renovate the kitchen, bathroom or office.. all.

As I get older I'm starting to recognize: D- All... Is not always the best answer.
I'm easily over extended at times and to exhausted to enjoy the small things.  It's even more apparent when I see my teenage daughter also pick D- All... She's very much like me at times.

I'm slowly learning and teaching it's about quality over quantity... I not sure I'm scoring on the test of "Life" but I'm certainly learning that sometimes the answers are not D- all of the above.

Insignificant

Did you ever know someone that can make you feel so insignificant?

It's not so much an attitude of them being inferior and high and mighty, rather they just make you feel so low and unimportant.

I have a boss that makes people feel that way.  She plays favorites.  She either likes you or doesn't and if she doesn't: She very rarely gives praises for a job well done and often puts her employees down by being demeaning or giving them cold shoulder.

I've had a few co-workers say similar things and often feel very neglected and have become somewhat resentful.  They have tried to work things out with her, but she often does very little to resolve the issues. 

Because her past actions, when she does do something nice or give praise, it's treated as a cheap sentiment.  Folks joke that it's pointless to say anything because she's untouchable and has positioned herself very well in the company.

I am typically not bothered by such a narcissistic personally, but this boss of mine considers herself a Christian.  Sometimes I try to extend her grace (I don't know her struggles) but I often don't really see her wanting to be better. 

As a believer in Christ, we're called to be humble ... Perhaps recognize ourselves as insignificant... In many ways we are.  But I'm fairly certain Jesus never treated people as being trivial or non-essential.

This makes me look deeply in to my heart, and how I treat people in my life.  Do I build up or do I tear down?  Do I have a loving attitude even when I don't feel like it or like the person?  Do I treat people as being insignificant?

Dirty word: Anti

I just read an article that Ellen Page ragged on Chris Pratt about his his faith and the church being anti-LGBTQ...

What I guess I don't understand is when did we make "anti" such a dirty/ hateful word. 

The definition of anti is: opposed to; against.  In the noun form it means: a person opposed to a particular of, activity or idea.

What's happened in our society is we've added to that to include: hate, anger and disgust.

We can no longer be anti something without adding hostility.  We make assumptions that if you're anti...then you are automatically intolerant and discriminating.   We add that extra to make it spiteful and sting... Which causes so much hatred and divide.

I'll be honest there are many things I'm anti on:  Mustard, Being late somewhere, Talking on the phone, washing dishes, etc.. however I'm wouldn't say that I'm hateful or disgusted over those things (well.. except the mustard...)

As a Christian I may be opposed to certain ideas and beliefs but my entire foundation of my spirituality is built on LOVE.  I've never once hated someone because they opposed my beliefs or ideas, or lived a different life than me.

We're all so very different... We're never going to be wired the same. Thankfully, because what's a world where everyone is the same.

Right now some people are putting mustard on a hotdog.. and enjoying it. 

As humans we have to do better.

The next time you read an article that says: the ______ and ______ is anti _______.

Don't just assume they hate you because you are...

Don't jump on the bandwagon of spewing more animosity...

Agree to disagree.  Because anti isn't a dirty word.