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Pool and Parent Reflections...

On Saturday, My kids participated in a local swim competition with 25 other teams.  Let me start off by saying:  My kids are not the best swimmers.  They are really average (or below) for their age and this area.  We have a lot of great swimmers in the Triangle. 

My daughter gets very frustrated on being just average at things.  She wants to excel at everything (which she doesn’t excel at most things she does.)   She is competitive, fierce and she wants to shine sometimes brighter than I would like her to.   She takes a lot of pride in doing well and being a star so to speak.  She was telling me that she feels just average at everything these days.  She does many things well, but She doesn't have that one special talent that she is the best at.  She isn’t the smartest, fastest runner or swimmer, best trumpet player, funniest, tallest, etc... She is just ok at many things.  

I remember all so well, the feelings of being kind of "a nothing" in middle school.  (Gee, I am still kind of a nothing even as an adult.)  I remember how deflating it was to me, not being pretty or smart or richest.  I was kind of below average most of my life.  I didn’t have any one thing that I was great at or the star of either.  So I could relate to how she was feeling. 
But at this meet she was starting to get really discouraged.   She wasn’t beating her own personal best times or was ever once a heat winner.  At the end of the meet she was near the bottom percentile of the score sheet for just about every event she was in.     

I was trying my best to make her feel better, asking if she was having fun at least,  but then something very special happened.  Another parent came up to me and said that he was working the blocks at one of the other meets and he was so impressed with my daughter.  He said that she always was smiling, cheering for her teammates and has an overall great personality.  He said that he just felt the urge to share that with me.  This is not the first time someone has said these exact things to me.  I thanked him and gave credited to God, who made her that way.  

But it dawned on me ...  This could very well be her lot in life! 

As she finished the meet and need a little more cheering up.   I said to her that she received a very nice compliment from another parent.  I didn’t go into details with her but I told her this:

 “Alita, Many years from now.  I am certain that no one really will remember your swimming expertise or lack thereof.  No one will really remember if you were a good or even average swimmer.  No one will really remember THIS meet – not the scores, not the times, not even the heat winners.  You can practice more to be a better swimmer but I don’t think that is going to be what you’re known for.   What people will remember about you, and what you should really focus your efforts on – is who you are.  
People will remember your kindness and your smile.  They will remember you encouraging them and cheering for them.  So if you want to challenge yourself it’s in that - continue to be a great friend, good teammate and overall encouraging person.  Trust that God has a plan and purpose for you and don’t worry about all these in between moments.  As your mom, I am proud of you when you try your hardest and persevere, but  I more impressed you when you shine God’s spirit to others. You are a great person and you need to remember that is way more important than any record, time or earthly achievement.”   


She smiled her cute smile and I know that she heard me.  As a parent, it’s hard encouraging your children correctly.  I try my best to never put any extra pressure on her to do well.  (She does that enough herself.)  I am so blessed to have a daughter that shares with me and I do my best to not mess up that beautiful creature God has given to me, to care for.  I want to continue to help her shape her heart into loving and caring for others (which she is so gifted in) will serve her (and the Lord) for years to come.   For that I am truly gratefully - 

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