On Saturday, My kids participated in a local swim competition
with 25 other teams. Let me start off by saying: My kids are not the
best swimmers. They are really average
(or below) for their age and this area. We have a lot of great swimmers in the
Triangle.
My daughter gets very frustrated on being just average at things. She wants to excel at everything (which she
doesn’t excel at most things she does.) She is competitive, fierce and she wants to
shine sometimes brighter than I would like her to. She takes a lot of pride in doing well and being a star so to speak. She was telling me that she feels just
average at everything these days. She does many things well, but She doesn't have that one special talent that she is the best at. She isn’t the smartest,
fastest runner or swimmer, best trumpet player, funniest, tallest, etc... She is just ok at many things.
I remember all so well, the feelings of being kind of "a nothing" in middle school. (Gee, I am still kind of a nothing even as an adult.) I remember how
deflating it was to me, not being pretty or smart or richest. I was kind of below average most of my life. I didn’t have any one thing that I was great
at or the star of either. So I could relate to
how she was feeling.
But at this meet she was starting to get really discouraged. She
wasn’t beating her own personal best times or was ever once a heat winner. At the end of the meet she was near the
bottom percentile of the score sheet for just about every event she was in.
I was trying my best to make her feel better, asking if she was having fun at least, but then
something very special happened. Another
parent came up to me and said that he was working the blocks at one of the
other meets and he was so impressed with my daughter. He said that she always was smiling, cheering
for her teammates and has an overall great personality. He said that he just felt the urge to share
that with me. This is not the first time
someone has said these exact things to me.
I thanked him and gave credited to God, who made her that way.
But it dawned on me ... This could very well be her lot in life!
As she finished the meet and need a little
more cheering up. I said to her that she received a very nice compliment
from another parent. I didn’t go into details
with her but I told her this:
“Alita, Many years
from now. I am certain that no one
really will remember your swimming expertise or lack thereof. No one will really remember if you were a
good or even average swimmer. No one
will really remember THIS meet – not the scores, not the times, not even the
heat winners. You can practice more to
be a better swimmer but I don’t think that is going to be what you’re known
for. What people will remember about you, and what
you should really focus your efforts on – is who you are.
People will remember your kindness and your
smile. They will remember you encouraging
them and cheering for them. So if you
want to challenge yourself it’s in that - continue to be a great friend, good
teammate and overall encouraging person.
Trust that God has a plan and purpose for you and don’t worry about all
these in between moments. As your mom, I
am proud of you when you try your hardest and persevere, but I more impressed you when you shine God’s spirit
to others. You are a great person and you need to remember that is way more
important than any record, time or earthly achievement.”
She smiled her cute smile and I know that she heard me. As a parent, it’s hard encouraging your
children correctly. I try my best to never
put any extra pressure on her to do well.
(She does that enough herself.) I am so blessed to have a daughter that shares with me and I do my best to not mess up that beautiful creature God has given to me, to care for. I want to continue to help her shape her heart into loving and caring for
others (which she is so gifted in) will serve her (and the Lord) for years to
come. For that I am truly gratefully -
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