Strong but sometimes Sensitive ...

I have been going through a lot of different situations in my life that has got me examining once again, who am I? Question mark because often times I need to remind myself who I am.  

I know, the life of a woman has its ups, the downs and many times wind blowing your hair out of place.  We women are mysteries on so many levels.  Sometimes we are STRONG... WEAK... and just a little SENSITIVE.  

I recently sent a text to my pastor telling him "I am way stronger than you think I am..." but am I really?

I am strong because of Christ... Only because he has taught me in my 30 something years that He is Good and He has his reasons.  I was recently considering some career changes and something fell in my lap that seemed almost too good to be true.   I felt and thought God was pushing me towards and was a little surprised I was rejected.  I was a bit anger at first as I thought why shake it up Lord, only to tell me I am not good enough.   It once again brought up a lot of many past memories of people (I loved) telling me I wasn't good enough.  Love interest not being interested in me.  People telling me I wasn't smart enough to go to college.   Others telling me I couldn't do it because I was a woman.  Etc. Etc.  I have lived a life of disappointment in not being good enough. I had made a pack with myself that I wouldn’t cry anymore.   Satan loves when we believe those lies.  

So I once again found that my strength in him, didn't shake me or break me in to a million pieces. It only solidify my passion and drive.  I am strong because he made me that way.  

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da... but I went out for a run the other night and while I was running I remembered my snarky response to my pastor.   “I am way stronger than...”  Am I really all that strong?  Nah that’s just me and my coping method of not letting myself cry over silly things.  But during that run, I was reminded how sensitive I really am.  I do care if my sister-in-law doesn’t like my kids facebook photos when I like her kids facebook photos,   or that I wasn’t invited to the meeting that I should have been invited to because I am after all the one in charge of the finances.  It’s those moments when being rejected makes you feel so self-worthless.  It’s ok to be sensitive and cry at really cute YouTube videos of babies and puppies.  It’s OK to feel under appreciated or disenchanted because your life seems so out of control. 

Who I am is a child of God that sometimes can run marathons but sometimes just needs a hug from a friend.  Made in his image, for his purpose and all in his time.  Strong but sometimes sensitive...