My Kids Aren't Mine

A coworker of mine just learned that a boy in her children’s daycare died suddenly from an accident at home yesterday.  She grieves today for the family and rightfully so.  It is upsetting to know that you have really zero control over the things that happen in your children’s life.  It’s upsetting to experience such tragedy so soon before Christmas.  

As a parent, you do your best to not let them eat too much candy, wear their helmets when they are riding their bikes, look both ways and hold an adults hand when they cross the street,  but ultimately... you have no control, no real power over what really happens to them.

Here’s the kicker... when you have no real faith in God who does have control over all things... you feel empty and helpless.  Where is your hope, without Christ?  My friend grieves because she doesn’t understand the concept of Christ and the meaning of faith.

To me I would be devastated if I lost my children at a young age.  Or any age at that.  Its true parents should die before their children but often times... children pass on, tragedy strikes, and your heart sinks.  Often time’s people wonder why is this bad thing, happening to me?

As a Christian, we know that sin came into the world and ever since... many many bad things have happened.  We have no control over the bad things.

You can rationalize everything, live in a bubble, do your best to protect your children, but without faith and without God it’s hopeless.   Faith gives you peace and hope.  It brings you comfort when you know that “Your Best Efforts” don’t have to be good enough, because God is good and your debt has been paid.

Jesus said “Let the children come to me.”  As a parent, I know that my children aren’t my possession.  They are not mine.   No parent wants to loss a child... ever.  But having faith in Christ, reassures us that this life is not our home and the journey there can be long or it can be short.  

My Minute for Mission Testimony...

Buenos días, me llamo Heather Buck and let me tell you my Spanish speaking abilities pretty much end there. 

I have been invited to talk to give you a short testimony of our recent trip to La Ceiba, Honduras…

I,  like many of you, I have been following and praying for Shannon Innes de Ordonez (Or Don Yez)’s life and ministry through her facebook, her blog and e-newsletters for five years now... (Back story for those of you that don’t know Shannon, she grew up here at Peace, was a critical member of the youth department, and is now a full time missionary for MTW in La Ceiba, Honduras), So going on the Peace Honduras Mission trip just a few weeks ago has truly helped me appreciate why she is there and what her team is doing to advance God’s Kingdom in La Cieba, Honduras. 

When Peace announced sending another mission team to Honduras, both Tim and I felt the uttermost desire to go instantly.  But I had no idea how God was going to use me or what he was going to teach me…

Might I say it was an awesome experience …

I consider myself genuinely blessed to have gotten to work inside Shannon’s girl’s home: painting, plumbing, playing with babies and trying hard to communicate to these young ladies with my terrible Spanish and us trying to teach them English.   It’s a great honor put a face to B, C, K and Y .. the young women and their children. I am able to hold them in my heart more intimately now.   I also got to spend some time one-on-one with Shannon hearing about some of their struggles in La Cieba and how each of the girls is walking with the Lord.  Shannon has to be so many things for these young women as she is disciplining and loving them every day.  I felt like all we I did all week was a few home improvements, but what God did was allowed me to be part of their lives, love on them, teaching them and empower them that they can paint their rooms or do a few other home improvements.   

One of the other Honduras Team ministry some of us worked with that week was with the Church Planting team in La Fe, with Mike and Ashley Troxell.  La Fe is a squatter area in La Cebia, and made me quickly remember my roots with Habitat for Humanity and simple decent housing.  These families live in shacks along the river, have very little, and their kids are just about the sweetest things in the world.  From playing soccer, making crafts, trying extremely hard to read Spanish kids book to them, and swimming the not so lovely river... these kids loved on us as much as we loved on them.  

I volunteered to help take one very sick little boy from the La Fe to the local hospital with Ashley.  Rikelme (Ra Kale Mae)… was burning up, lethargic, and in pain, as I held him in the back of the truck.  All I could do was hold him, humming Jesus loves me to him.  His mother reminded me of an old  neighbor of mine. In the waiting area I held him, with one shoulder around his mother, whom wept.  Ashley was extremely discouraged.   I felt so helpless that I couldn't communicate with anyone  to be more helpful.  I sat, saddened with seeing this terrible healthcare system, this very sick little boy, a weary missionary and a mom afraid to lose yet another family member.  All I could do was hold him, and pray. 

As a mom, I want to provide the best life possible for my kids, and it simply broke my heart that these families in Honduras live in poverty.  The kids, so proud of their 50 cent flip flops and crafts we made with them, and they didn’t want to leave our sides the entire time we were with them.  They had some of the biggest and brightest smiles... and most importantly they had God in their hearts and that to me was awesome!  

So my testimony is now a Mission challenge for each of you:

·         Please pray… for Team Honduras and for Shannon and the other missionaries, we saw firsthand how much of their daily lives they give to others,  and it’s hard and they grow weary. 

·         Second  give… when Darcie asks for cleats-  give cleats, clothes, school supplies.  MONEY... We have so much and those people have so little...  so just give what you can, when you can.

·         Lastly, the next time Peace sends a team on a mission trip to Honduras or somewhere...  go. 

Often times you have this vision of going on a mission trip and how much you hope to give and accomplish, but often time God uses mission trips to change your heart, giving you the opportunity to see his kingdom come and his will being done from all ends of the earth...  and it is good!

Seeing the photos and hearing the stories both my kids already ask if they could go next time and have already has been talking as if they are going.   If you think about it the Apostle Paul was a long term missionary that went on a Short Term Mission trips, so if the opportunity presents itself go… You won’t regret it and God will use you for his glory. 

Thank you! 

Validation

In my weekly work activities I have to validate posts from Blackbaud's Raiser Edge and Financial Edge.  This is something that the database system has set up to make sure what you "set as stone" is correct.  That there aren’t any errors in your action.  It validates the success of your work.  In a way its saying "you got it" or "you are able to proceed."  

 Wouldn't it be nice if we could "validate" our actions? Prior to actually making them?

   If we could test it out prior to doing something, which could result in either a good or bad aftermath. If only we could have the evidence and proof that our best efforts are good enough (which are really never good enough.) 

Furthermore, in life, don't we often look for often look for such validation from the world around us?   We want the world to tell us we are doing it right,  and we are successful in our best efforts.  I know I do. 

Yet, deep down I know that we are to not look for such affirmation from this world. Scripture tells us in Ephesian 6:7 says "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people."  And Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."  

I know I often fall into the trap of thinking I need and deserve every ounce of authentication this world will give me.  I am truly unable to validate my life alone, so why not let the world tell me I am a good person, doing great things?    I am nothing without the world’s acceptance, right?  WRONG.  God is the only place I should search to for identification and acknowledgement.  

Humility continues to remind me that I am never, in this life, going to be flawless.  Now bringing it all back around to the topic at hand.  Would you rather have the world tell you are awesome, lovely, amazing, great, a genius, rocking, super, cool, terrific, cool, fabulous, sensational, caring, courageous, the best, neat, sublime...  or would you rather hear from God the father "Well done, good and faithful servant"   I know how I would  answer that one, do you?  

Moral of the today's blog posting...  We will never get full satisfaction or validation from this world... 

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Every now and then, I decide to throw myself the biggest PITY party of the year.

I start to think of all the things that constantly go wrong with my life.  The kind of things like:

I don't get to be a cool stay home mom, like some of my friends. Or why am I always the one that has to run the vacuum? I feel sorry for the things that I don't have. Why won't my hair just look as pretty as hers?  I get sad about not having the same things as others. (Bigger houses or nicer cars)  I also get frustrated at the choices I make which often leave me wishing I had more time or energy to do other things. (going to school rather than a women's fellowship/bible study.)

I know that my husband hates when I get this way, because I will want to renovate the entire bathroom and they cry that I don't have a bathroom as it has taken longer to put back together again.

Women are such gentle beings and I know that we need to be cared for in special ways.  I know this because out of the mouth of my daughter I hear the same small voice in me "I mess everything up" or "why do I care so much about this or that"  "why am I feeling sorry for myself when I have it pretty darn good?"

As a Christian, we know that we are wonderfully made and God loves us eternally. But here on earth we have moments when we want to cry it out and say "God please help me."

I don't get this way too often because I am a strong independent woman. I am times called a natural born leader and I work extremely hard to proof myself.   But really that is what God is teaching me.  Why do I care about successes?  Why do I care about what people think?

I am not as strong as I think or as wise as I feel.  At times I just want to curl up in my bed and say "go away you big bad world" or take the time to spend genuine time with friends and family.

God is teaching me that I can't do it alone.  I have to OFTEN cry out "God please save me" and he will.

I never cared to be humble as a child.  I wanted to be the star and the center of attention and God has taken all those desires away, thankfully!

I don't like being a person that has to ask for help but I certainly know that I can't my feelings bottled up to a point where I start crying the blues or reeks of self-righteous pity, over stupid things.

Someone asked me the other day, “How can I pray for you?”  I was almost dumbfounded, thinking to myself, why would you pray for me?  I am not sick or in any major need.  But here it is.  God showing me that we don’t have to carry burdens ourselves.  People might not come to our pitty party but they will come to our aid if we are feeling 

It’s not glamorous having a pity party and it’s certainly not God’s design for us.   So when you see someone who seems to be a bit overwhelmed, who’s starting to sing the woe is me... stop and ask them.  How can I pray for you?  Then do it, pray for them... It will go a long way.  

You're my favorite Mistake

Have you ever done something in your life, and instantly you knew there was no turning back and you made the wrong decision.

I recently had a friend make a decision that changed her course on life and at first I thought it was a big mistake.  It's simply amazing how we make decisions and they can be perceived in many different ways.  Right.  Wrong.  Indifferent.  

It made me think about some of the things I felt that I have done correctly or wrongly over the course of my life.  Sure, I haven't made any HUGE mistakes that I regret, but I often wonder if God is up there watching our Game Show life... screaming "Pick Curtain A, Pick Curtain A."  Only for us to choose curtain B.  

I know we have a choice - free will and most of us learn to make the better choices by trial by error.  Theodore Roosevelt said, “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.”

If you really think about most of the great scriptural leaders and references, many of them made huge mistakes.  I think of Abraham, Moses, David, and Peter among a few (a few being a lot!)    

Like those who’ve gone before us, we also flee when we are called to stay, we doubt rather than believe, we commit adultery and often time deny who we are in order that others may like us. 

When I think of my mistakes, I am often reminded that I am maturing through time, experience and opportunities.  God isn’t finished with who I am and what I will someday be. 

 I know many would disagree with me, but personally I don't think I would erase my mistakes even if I could.  Why? I know society says “Failure isn’t an option” but isn’t it what defines us and strengthens us?  

Often times we rush in to “save” our kids from their imperfections or deficiencies.  We want them to not struggle or be lacking in skills, so we “do” it for them.  Surly we don’t want them to struggle but we do want them to experience failure.   I tell people that I want my kids to experience diversity, trials and tribulations and they look at me as if “you horrible mother.” 

But think about it, we want them to be sufficient, self-supporting and well built.  You don’t get a free pass to all of that.   We have to acknowledge that failure can be good. 

When we acknowledge our failures, confess our sins, and examine why we do things we shouldn't or at the time didn't know were mistakes... we are then able to move forward, grow and be blessed.

Everyone makes mistakes and yet God’s love is bigger than them all.  I think often we forget that and our fears of failing consume us.   One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

No matter how big or small, mistakes will be there, we just have to stop over dwelling on them... and stop trying to cover them up.  Just know that even when we pick the wrong curtain, God still loves us and he's there... always. 

Unfriend App...

I get very random advertisements since I click all over the web and I found this one that made me chuckle.

It's the Unfriend App.

http://www.unfriendapp.com/lp_bold01.html?itype=QC2&pid=267&ts=TS3012&utm_source=Adwords&utm_medium=Display&utm_content=AC3075&utm_campaign=CPN8803

It tells you who on fb has unfriend you and who has deleted their account.  I admit I unfriend people.  A few years back I had gotten overwhelmed with the social networking and I was going to delete my account.  I prayed about it and thought the best solution was to delete half of my 500 so called friends and narrow down to who I really wanted to be friends with.  I think in a way, it backfired on me and I made the wrong decision.

I learned that it's not Christ like to unfriend anyone, ever.  Jesus never unfriend people and when we are called to live like him, we should not accept a friendship without consideration of what it means to be a friend, online or not.

So why is it socially acceptable to unfriend someone?  Why do we let people come in and out of our lives do carefree?  Have we become so numb to the idea of being 'friends' with someone?

Looking at our friendships and relationships, we should evaluate what kind of friend we are.  Do we remain faithful to people when they push our buttons, or disappoint us.  

I remember back years ago, 6th grade to be exact, when all of my friends (or so called) decided to unfriend me by stop talking to me and playing with me at recess.  I most likely was an annoying brat, and they wanted me to experience l the pain of being de-friending. Girls can be really cruel and I suffered the torment first hand, so I know it to be true.   I am not looking for sympathy for that event, but want to express how those wounds affected my life. 

We face trials and tribulations and experience relationships only to help sanctify us in Christ.  Being a person’s friend is a great gift that often times we squander and take for granted.  Friends are to encourage, speak the truth and be there to love you.  Our society has the values of a friend and manipulated it into thinking that if a person is cruel or boring or whatever we can simply just unfriend them.   I will make a better effort in being a better friend and I hope you would consider it too. 

I will depart with this from Proverbs 17:17a “A friend loves at all times...”

Just the sound of your voice...

Do you know someone where just the sound of their voice evokes a reaction?  I have a few people in my life that just hearing them speak makes me shriek. Want to hide under my desk or run away because it's not that I dislike them, I just dislike when they speak.

There have been many times I am sure people felt the same way about me.  I didn't always have poise and grace. And often times, more often than not, I would say the stupidest things.  I am sure my voice, at many times made people shriek.

But why is that?  What do we get so consumed by what people have to say or not say, or how the way they say it?

Since the beginning of time our voices have gotten us in trouble.  In the garden God rebukes Adam and Eve by saying “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree..."  (Gen 3:17)

 I often wondered if I find myself more agitated because of what the person is saying or how the person is saying it.  I am sure at times it’s on or the other or both.   I also think it bothers me more when it's those people that really just like to hear the sound of their own voices.  They can't stand quietness.  I use to be much like that.  Lately though, I can drive home without the radio on - in complete silence.  It's nice. 

I think it's important to remember we have great power in our voice and in our words.  We must choose to speak the truth in love and often times I find that may mean not speaking at all.   The bible tells us to be slow to speak and quick to listen.  We don't do that nearly enough in our society.  

Our voices can represent so much more if we recognize how they have been given to us and how we should use them. What we say is a direct reflection of who we are and what is in our hearts.    Therefore, we should just babble on about randomness or use our voices in the wrong manner.

So in conclussion will end with this from 1Thessalonians 2:4 "..so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts."

Polka-Dotted Beauty

Recently, I attended a celebration event for my place of employment.  This prestigious event was celebrating 50 years of our being a part of the community, and the only reason I was invited was because I was helping put on the event.  Nevertheless, I was required to dress in cocktail attire.  I had no idea what cocktail attire was and I knew that I didn’t own anything in my closet that would be appropriate for this event.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a flashy fashion guru.  I happen to also be pretty cheap and nine times out of ten, I don’t buy clothes brand new either.  So I went online and searched cocktail dresses and I scoffed.  It sort of made me sad to think that dresses these days are not much of a dress at all – short and skimpy.  I was also not about to spend $100 on a dress, that I knew I wasn’t going to wear often at all.

So when I kissed my husband goodbye to head to the store, he told me what he thought I should spend and I said ok with a smile. 

My first stop the Goodwill.  Yeah, you saw that one coming right?  Well, I happen to live in an area that people donate some of the nicest clothes.  My daughter came with and helped me pick out three or four dresses and I proceeded to the fitting rooms.  The first one was really cute; it was white with black polka-dots or was it black with white polka-dots, with cute pink straps.  Anyhow, it fit wonderfully.  It wasn’t too short and it was rather flattering on me if I say so myself.  My daughter liked it too and I put it in our basket.  I proceeded to tried on the others and although I liked them, I knew they were not cocktail attire.  So I check out with my $4.50 polka-dotted cocktail dress. 

Now here’s where the story gets really good.  It’s the night of the event.  My co-workers and I get everything set up and we then go and change into our cocktail attire outfits.  They both had very beautiful black dresses and I put on my polka-dotted dress and head out to the start greeting guest. 

It began, one after another.  Complements.  How beautiful I looked.  How cute my dress was.   How I clean up nice.  I had them all night long.  Though it made me feel really beautiful, it made me feel good that I didn’t’ have to buy a $100 dress to look good.  We tell ourselves to be beautiful we have to meet a certain checklist.   God tells us, it’s not what’s on the outside that makes us beautiful, it’s what’s on the inside. 

Our society continues to tell us that we should look like models and actresses.  We must starve ourselves to be thin, have great skin and clothes that perhaps we can’t really afford. 

I could have gone out and bought a $100 dress and looked just as beautiful on the outside.  But I like to think the confidence and joy of my $4.50 dress was all I needed.  I was a polka-dot beauty because that’s the way God made me.  

You’re a danger to me, don’t you know that you’re TOXIC?

You know you’re having a rough patch in life, when you Google: “Dealing with Toxic people.”

Well yes, I did just that..

You can find many self-help ideas on how to deal with toxic people.  Results included everything from avoiding them – to – eliminating them.  I believe those things are true for many situations.  When you’re dealing with the abuser or the raging alcoholic...  Those situations do call for ending the relationship. 

But I am thinking of the day-to-day toxic people.  I wanted to know how to deal with people, who just suck life from you, those negative nellies, and the narcissistic people who steal all your joy.

We all have a few of them in our lives...

I simply can’t quit my job just because my co-worker is angry a lot of the time.  They aren’t always toxic.  If we just eliminated them  all then most likely no one would be left as we are all sinners.  For me personally, I really only wanted to better understand how to be around toxic people without becoming one.  I see how easy it is to jump on the band wagon and complain about ... whatever. 

Do you know what I am talking about?  Water cooler gossip, slandering the boss, or even some of those materialistic people who always want MORE.  Not the good kind of more if you know what I mean.   Toxic people have hardened hearts and suffer from something we all suffer from... sin. Toxic people aren't happy so they want to make everyone around them feel miserable.  

So, what should we do?  I like to think Jesus knew a thing or two about toxic people.  After all, one of them was his disciple, Judas.  His friend who betrayed him was a poisonous, lying, greedy man.  Judas was toxic and Jesus knew it.  Why would Jesus hang out with a toxic person?  Jesus hung out with as many sinful people - to love them.  He washed Judas's feet and personally invited him to trust in Him. Judas didn't accept him and we know how the story ends, but we can learn much from how these two individuals lived.  One was loving and one was contaminated.

The truth is toxic people are all around us, and we can't control what those people do.  But, we can control what we do.  I know that I can't change the behavior of someone who wants to steal my joy and break my love, but I can keep loving and praying that God will give me the power to respond in love and not in malice.

I have had people in my life betray me, tattle-tell on me, bully me, and even try to strike me down.   I can't dwell on that poison -  as I know it could spread into my heart.  We have to guard our hearts.  But we also have to love and serve those people.

Matthew 5:43-44 says,   “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

If you look at the life of Jesus and the way he dealt with toxic people, he ate with them, he served them, loved them, welcomed them in, but not all the toxic people he hung out with repaid that back to him.  However, sometimes Jesus did have to walk away from people, not because he didn't love them, but because they didn't love him or except him.

So we have to give it our all to those toxic people and know when to walk away.  It's not easy, it's pretty radical if you really think about it.  Why would we want to subject ourselves to noxious?  Why would we want to expose myself to the things that toxic people do?  Because to live like Christ, we must die like to ourselves.  Toxic people will always be around us, as sin is always around us.  I feel sorry for people who live a life in their own toxic waste.  Especially when they make the choice to be mean, hateful, negative, or angry.  They choose those things over love, joy, patience, and kindness...  

We may get burned or scared, most likely we will.  We will shake our heads and asks ourselves, why do I stand this venom?   Is it sanctification, maybe?  But we can't let negativity, hatred, or those other poisons scare us from what God called us to do.   Toxic people need to be loved and we know that Jesus loved the least of these and so should we.  So put on your rubber gloves, guard your heart, pray, and let God equip you with the power to love the toxic people in your life. 

Ultimately remember that Jesus loves all people even the toxic ones.  

What does it mean to be a Christian?

I often challenge myself to the simple question, what does it mean to be a Christian?

I show up each day to my place of employment, often wondering, do I put my best forth to be like Christ today? 

We like to put people in little boxes, labels and all.  Some even get ribbon and bows on top.  I know, I certainly get along better with people, once I know what little box they belong in.  We think to ourselves that people in little boxes are easier for us.  We can understand and better to exist with those in each little box.  One for the loving one, one for the peacemaker, one for that grumpy one.   But is that really true? 

I can fun, crazy and flirtatious without being a drunk, foolish, adulterer.  At any moment, I could be put in a box that I don't think I below in.  I want to be in a good box.  But do I show up each day with love, patience, understanding and kindness?   Simple truth and only truth that we should cling to is to love on another.   Could that be my box?  

I may not be as wise as Solomon, as brave as Daniel, or as bold as Paul,  but the assurance I will cling to is the faith of loving others more than myself,  dying to my fleshly desires, and trusting in the one who gave his life so I may live.  I know what box I want to be in... Like most of us.  No box at all.

Christianity in a whole is often put in a box.  Sometime that box is pretty beat up, looking really bad.  Other times that box is as deceiving as it can be.  Beautiful wrappings and a bow like no one has ever seen before.

I know deep down what it means to be a Christian without being in that little box most of us have put Christians in.  I know what it means to humble yourself and put others first.  I don’t always do it.  I am often selfish, prideful and above all greedy.  My heart aches when I feel like I am not doing enough – serving those in need.  I know that I am wealthier, both physically and spiritually - but I still long for more. 

I know that being a Christian is looking really at the heart of a person and not the status of who they are.    I do my best to love my Muslim neighbor, my Jewish friend, and my agnostic co-worker.  I want to live so those who don’t know Him will want to know Him, because they know me.  I will not judge the homosexual, hate the murder, or be afraid of persecutions of others who feel I am wrong.  But not all Christians do that.  Many of us still use those boxes to make our life safer, or easier. 

As for me, I am just a spiritual child of God, doing my best to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly in his ways.  You can put me in any box you would like...  I just want to warn you that I am a bit claustrophobic and every now and then I have the desire to jump out and try and scream “surprise.”   It’s just the kind of person I am. 

Romans 2:1 says " You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."

So what does it mean to be a Christian?  Jesus himself never called his followers Christians, that’s a term we made up.   More importantly He didn’t label people either and put them in little boxes.  Both followers or not, He loved them all the same.   As should we... us ... you know...  Christians.